User:Osmosis janet

Osmosis Janet's Homepage!!!
Welcome, new comers and old visitors, to my WICKED homepage! This is where you can come whenever you like and check out all the funny stuff on here. Feel free those of you who want to leave a comment pour moi. Just go up to the top of this page and click "edit page". Type what ever you like, just nothing bad, and absolutely no cussing. Anyone caught cussing will be blocked and a $1 fine per letter will be charged. Just kidding. But seriously, no bad words.

If you're looking for some laughs, here are some funny jokes. They are sure to make you laugh.

- A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."

- A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

- If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My Knees

- Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

- Q: What do you get when you mix holy water with milk of magnesia A: a religious movement

-Learn chinese in 5 minutes: English.........................Chinese interpretation Your body odor is offensive. -- Yu stin ki pu  I think you need a facelift. -- Chin Tu Fat See me A.S.A.P. -- Kum Hia Nao

- Hot Flash Barbie: Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.

- OMG, you're gonna love this one Jon! Yes, there is a such thing as a blonde guy joke!! An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The blond opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. (wait for it...) "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch!"

Oh, Jon! Hey! I'm so glad you were able to get in! Right now it's like 6:12pm, and I just got back from my meet. I got my 2nd best time ever!!!!! 30:36!!! Can you believe it?!?! I deserve a high five, I think. Well, if your reading this now, you'd better leave me a message, otherwise I'm gonna beat you up. J/K. Please leave me a message. Thanks! Call me if you need help. LYLAB. (Love Ya Like A Bro)

-Steph (aka:Janet)

P.S. once you type your message, save it by clicking 'save page' at the bottom. Hope to see something new!!!

Hey jon. thanks a bunch for visiting my page. Not. :`(