User:Ottawaotter2024/Renewable energy in Canada/Jmvelasquez Peer Review

General info
Ottawaotter2024
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Ottawaotter2024/Renewable energy in Canada
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Renewable energy in Canada
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Renewable energy in Canada

Evaluate the drafted changes
The editor did not include the lead in their article edit/revisions. From reading the lead in the original article, it appears that it includes an introductory sentence that describes the article's topic. To help improve the article in the future, I suggest checking over the lead anyway to ensure that it meets all the Wikipedia requirements such as it being concise, containing relevant information, and describes the article's majort sections. In the "Overview" section of the page, I would suggest updating the articles from Resource Canada's "About Renewable Energy" to a more recent article/study. These ones are from 2017 and things have changed.

The content that has been added so far is relevant to the topic, however it is limited. The editor has decided to focus on the the subsection "Provinces and territories". The paragraph about "Northwest Territories" has not been edited despite being copied into the sandbox. Additionally, there are no citations seen in the paragraph as well as there being a [citation needed]. In the original article, there is an article listed as a citation from 2018. For the future, I would suggest finding more articles to support the information present in this paragraph. Also, I would try and find a citation to fill the [citation needed] to help support the information. For the section about "Yukon", a good amount of information has been added. However, I would suggest to try and find more up-to-date examples, as the ones provided are from 2012 and 2014. As previously mentioned, I would suggest updated Resource Canada articles as the ones cited are from 2014, 2016, etc. Also, reference #3 is an article from CBC... I would approach this articles with caution as they could be a bit biased and inaccurate, so maybe try and find a peer-reviewed article to support this. The first sentence of this paragraph is a bit confusing, maybe try wording it "[...] hydropower and fossil fuels, like diesel and liquefied natural gas (LNG), especially...[..]". Also, I would continue saying 'hydropower' rather than just 'hydro' because some people may be confused. One really good thing about this section is how underrespresented populations are menionted, the Champagne & Aishihik First Nations and the Little Salmons Carmacks First Naiton. There is a lot of history and conflict with these groups so I think it would be important to allow them to be heard! For the section about "Nunavut", there is limited additions to the article. There were only two sentences added. As previously mentioned there are some shortfalls with there being [when?] and [citation needed]. Once again, I suggest finding articles to help back this information up and ensure they are up-to-date. There is also random 'm' in the paragraph, but these can be deleted during the final draft.

For tone and balance, overall, it is mostly neutral. There is one sentence in the "Yukon" paragraph that says "There was never a single legislation implemented in regard of geothermal energy in the territory of Yukon before". I would word this differently, it sounds a bit aggressive, maybe something like "No legislation converning geothermal energy had ever been enacted in Yukon's territory prior to this." It sounds more neutral! There are some incomplete topics/sentences at the end of the article - this would have been. nice to see as the topics look really interesting! There are minimal grammatical and spelling errors. Despite there being minimal mistakes, the content added remains in their respective subsections. Your contributions definitely have potential and that can be maximized with good articles to help back up what you're trying to say. Good job!