User:OutskirtAZ/Oxnard strike of 1903/Petunialovescake1 Peer Review

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OutskirtAZ


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 * Editing User:OutskirtAZ/Oxnard strike of 1903 - Wikipedia


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Evaluate the drafted changes
This is amazing work! The material was relevant and easy to read for the most part, I would say to maybe look at the functionality of the word "serendipitously", its presence might not be necessary. You provided the necessary biography and included links to other articles. Your information was well organized, although I would maybe look at breaking the long paragraph in the beginning down into two smaller paragraphs and maybe think about giving the results of the strike its own section. I also think that there is a great opportunity for the introduction of photos or drawings of the strike or of the sugar beet process. Overall, this was great, and I don't have a lot of recommendations to give you.