User:PMMorin/American Indian boarding schools/Emmaschroder Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

PMMorin


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:PMMorin/American_Indian_boarding_schools?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * American Indian boarding schools

Evaluate the drafted changes
1.How much scholarly evidence did the group use on the page?

Penny used three reliable sources in the article. The citations were incorporated in a helpful way and did not seem biased. All of the information written based on the citations was in Penny's own words.

Two things to note:


 * 1) Pratt felt that within one generation Native children could be integrated into Euro-American culture. With this perspective he proposed an expensive experiment to the federal government. Pratt wanted the government to fund a school that would require Native children to move away from their homes to attend a school far away. The Carlisle Indian school, which became the template for over 300 schools across the United States, opened in 1879. - maybe include a citation here? I think it's probably from the History text you previously cited, but to make it clear, you could add the citation at the end of this paragraph, too.
 * 2) Your 4th citation (US Dept. of Interior Bureau of Indian Education) has a couple of broken links.

2.How effectively did the group incorporate visuals into the page?

Penny included two visuals that I believe will be effective and will greatly add to the article.

3.How well written was the page?

Edits are very well written and organized in a way that will be easy to input into the article. It is easy to tell the sections written by Penny - they flow nicely and are informative without being too wordy.

Some things to fix:


 * 1) " Even after the process of closing boarding school started, day schools remained open" - maybe make "schools" plural to make the sentence make sense?
 * 2) "He made them learn English, cut their hair and where uniforms." - "where" should be "wear" here.
 * 3) The third-to-last paragraph (I don't think it was written by you) has several grammatical errors.