User:Pamgorilla/Deaf life in the Philippines/Gopiga.dass Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Pamgorilla


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Deafness in the Philippines - Wikipedia
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Deafness in the Philippines - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
Language emergence - The content of this section is good. All information is correctly cited. This section is easy to understand and maintains a nuetral tone. I wanted to doa quick fact check, but I noticed one of the links (#2) lead to a stale request. I noticed the link only said Temple University, so I am assuming the info your citing a paper in Temple university's library. Is there anyway you can get a link that leads directly to the paper? I know this might not be possible, but it will help other people who want more info and want to go straight to the source.

Major Organizations - This section was thorough and you gathered information on a good number of orgnaizations! It was presented clearly and had a neutral tone. I wanted to fact check some links, and I noticed the 8th citation does not have an active link that can take people to the study. Since there is an online pdf of this study available, I would suggest adding the link to the citation in references. Again, this wil help people retrieve info easier.

Human and Civil Rights - I really liked this section. Personally, I was struggling with how to present this information because it can get so dense. I liked that you swithced to using bullet points when listing things from the list of issues. The citations were adequate, and the tone was neutral. I honestly have nothing more to say.

Early Detection/Intervention - This section is also pretty good. I briefly fact checked the part about the RA9709, and everything looks good. I especially liked how you added a section on implementation - it's important to see if the new protocols are useful and helping people. In this section, your citations look good and a neutral tone is maintained.

Overall, really great article! There are some very minor grammatical errors and consistency with capitalization stuff, which I am sure you will iron out later. I can't wait to see the end result!

- Gopiga