User:PandaBananaMarie/History of tattooing/CGJohnston21 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Littlebigfoot088, HistoryKrymz, PandaBananaMarie


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:PandaBananaMarie/History_of_tattooing?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * History of tattooing

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * The lead contains a lot of information about tattoos from pre-history but doesn't offer any summary of other parts of history. A sentence or two discussing tattoos in the modern world would help to provide readers with a more comprehensive summary.
 * The information in the lead might be too specific towards pre-history. Some of the information in the lead would be better served in other parts of the article. For example: "In these states, Christianity, Judaism, and Islam were the major religions, and they did not fully accept to the concept of tattooing. The mummies that were found during the archaeological sites were, Priestess of the Goddess Hathor from ancient Egypt (c. 2134–1991 BC), multiple mummies from Siberia including the Pazyryk culture of Russia and from several cultures throughout Pre-Columbian South America."  This is too in depth for the lead and would be better placed in another section.
 * an introduction to the articles major sections would improve the flow of the article

Content


 * The content added matches the article very well.
 * Tone reads as neutral.

Sources and references


 * The section on Russian gangs needs citations.
 * For the modern and military sections, if multiple claims come from the same source you may consider placing one citation at the end of the paragraph rather than after each sentence. Or grouping the claims together to reduce the frequency of repeated citations.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading the article and the changes being made. The added section provided a much needed modern perspective to tattooing and the importance the modern perspective has on history. Altering the lead to further reflect this addition would improve the article greatly. Other minor additions might be considered such as linking to other articles when relevant (perhaps a link to the Auschwitz article when discussing Nazi Germany's concentration camps).