User:Papa Barrett

♥== The Tales of Christopher Barrett ==♣

Before we begin with the tales of Christopher Barrett, Id like to take this time to explain what it means to be Christopher Barrett....

Christopher Barrett: pronounced Kris – toe – fur; Plural; Christopher Barri --- Deriving from the meanings; ‘A Malayan dagger with a wavy double-edged blade’; and ‘The forepart of a foot or hoof’ and ‘The thick coat of soft hair covering the skin of a mammal’.

Christopher Barrett: A double edged furry foot.

Commonly used in a sentence ‘…yo guy, that double edged furry foot is WHACK!”

Or

“…Sorry sir, we don’t carry shoe sizes for double edged furry feet, perhaps try the Outback store down the street..”

Originating from deep in the Amazon linked to the Spectacled Caiman; long and slender reptile; however due to mutalization and the breeding of humans versus reptilian, the Barrett species engulfed the forest.

Modern day cases of Christopher Barretts are indeed rare, but are definitely living amongst us.

Christopher Michael Barret, origins of birth unknown. Some spectulate Christopher was born in the forests of Siberia, Russia in the 1970's. As he grew older, he treked across Russia planning his journey to the western worlds. At a very young age Chris was disadvantage with his short height, but all were to changed during his trek across Russia. During the spring of 1986 Chris was passing through Chernobyl when the Chernobyl nuclear disaster took place, which unforunately directly effected Chris. The freak accident affected his body by increasing his height enormously, but this effect did not work the same accordingly and consistently as there were some reversed side effects in various areas.

After the accident, Chris fell into the russian mafia, smuggling herion between moscow and hong kong. Eventually realizing that it will be easier to smuggle asian people across the border, as they were so minuscule comparision to him and would bring him far greater profits. After smuggling humans into Moscow, Chris was able to sneak into Canada in the last 90's and take an alias in corporate banking, which afterwards his whereabouts were unknown.

Presently, Christopher Michael Barret is assumed to be alive and currently living in Scarborough.....and his life continues onto this.......

Christopher Michael Barrett born in the hard streets of Scarborough Ontario. Chris had a tough upbringing. At school Chris was often picked by Asian students at times having to endure numerous kancho sessions and ridiculed at the fact that he had to use a calculator to calculate the square root of 2576. At home Chris had it equally rough. He would have to cook his own dinner and skip out on all the deliciously bland brocolli marinated in mayonaise dinner. He would often lock himself in his room drink alone and watch youtube videos all day to escape the troubles in his life. Chris found this to be very effective, and gave him the idea to one day, escape his house, and get a job....Little did Chris know he would be sucked into his job like satan sucking him into a black hole filled with deathly flames, aka as customers. Chris started off as an innocent victim to all this, however, as each day passed at his job, he found it increasingly depressing. Instead of using his job as a way to escape the previous troubles in life. Chris found it to be the other way around. He couldn`t wait until the end of the day, so thoughts of ending his life would sway from his wind as he focussed on getting home to his mommas home cooked ham and potatoes, and dont forget the brocolli marinated in mayonaise. Each day as he entered his place of employment Chris would walk in, not heads high, heads down, if Chris weren`t so tall his head would be touching the floor... It`s a sad life, a sad life indeed. Chris enjoys long walks to the subway station with his dear friends from work, and random outings that involve numerous shots of several different alocholoic beverages. Chris wants to be a professional kung fu fighter. His idols in life consist of Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, and Dr. Dre., and continued to believe that Elephants where Red and Had wings. YEs chris was a silly young man, but he meant well in everything he did. His laugh was hilarious and out of this world. He did eventually grow up and marry a young women named Ang, they had 19 children, and put them to work on their farm, where their neighbour Caitlin helped them look after their pot-belly pig. When Chris reached the age of 34 he was icthing his head a lot and couldn`t figure out what was wrong. When he went to this doctors, this is what the doctor said "Chris Barret or `Barrets Hair Syndrome, Most commonly known for uncommon hair genetic makeup. Quantity of hair appearing normal but usualy chustnut brown, with hints of silvery-blond or straw-colored. It is disorderly, it stands out from the scalp, and cannot be combed flat. The underlying structural anomaly is longitudinal grooving of the hair shaft, which appears triangular in cross section. There usually is no family history, though the characteristic hair shaft anomaly can be demonstrated in asymptomatic family members by scanning electron microscopy. To be noticeable, 50 % of hairs must be affected by the structural abnormality. Improvement often occurs in later childhood.The stiffness of the uncombable hair has been reasoned to be due to the triangular form of the hair shaft in cross section. It has been suggested that the condition may result from premature keratinization of the inner root sheath.--so basically I don`t think there is anything I can do for you son,just pray and wish for the best"