User:Papyrusbookhouse/sandbox

Scrapbook of a Satirist "Those truly linked don't need correspondence, When they meet again after many years apart, Their friendship is as true as ever." ― Deng Ming-Dao "I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." ― Woody Allen

"Man is to himself the most wonderful object in nature; for he cannot conceive what the body is, still less what the mind is, and least of all how a body should be united to a mind. This is the consummation of his difficulties, and yet it is his very being." ― Blaise Pascal

"He who builds a better mousetrap these days runs into material shortages, patent-infringement suits, work stoppages, collusive bidding, discount discrimination--and taxes." - H. E. Martz

There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisoned?'. Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?" . . The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!" "He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money." Benjamin Franklin "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." - A. Whitney Brown "Silence is a way of saying: we do not have to entertain each other; we are okay as we are." Martha Grimes The natural benefit of a cell phone, laptop, and other indispensable modern items is the joy one gets, when finding the object after losing it. Lose your wallet full of credit cards and you will have a chance to have a great day. ― Nassim N Taleb How to dress ? When the money is going from you, wear anything you like. When the money is coming to you, dress your best. {Anonymous} A memorandum is not written to inform the reader, but to protect the writer. ― Dean Acheson Own more than thou showest, speak less than thou knowest. William Shakespeare "Bricks and mortar make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home." {Irish Proverb} A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service. "When I interview people, and they give me an immediate answer, they're often not thinking. So I'm silent. I wait. Because they think they have to keep answering. And it's the second train of thought that's the better answer." Robin Leach "An actor's a guy who, if you ain't talking about him ain't listening." Marlon Brando "Death is Nature's expert advice to get plenty of Life." - Johann von Goethe "If Columbus had an advisory committee, he would probably still be at the dock." ― Arthur Goldberg "The probability of life originating from accident is comparable to the probability of the unabridged dictionary resulting from an explosion in a printing shop." ― Edwin Conklin "He who tells a lie is not sensible of how great a task he undertakes for he must be forced to invent twenty more to maintain that one." ― Alexander Pope Better to go to bed hungry than to wake up in debt. {Proverbs} "As for the pyramids, there is nothing to wonder at in them so much as the fact that so many men could be found degraded enough to spend their lives constructing a tomb for some ambitious booby, whom it would have been wiser and manlier to have drowned in the Nile, and then given his body to the dogs." ― Henry David Thoreau A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad. Looking at it they see under math an A+. Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind about learning math?" The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business." "When you want to test the depths of a stream, don't use both feet." {Chinese Proverb} Any person who bets on the horses follows inspirations that come. One race track classic is the story of the perfect inspiration which came to a Bettor when he visited the track on his birthday. It happened to be the fifth day of the fifth month. On the program he found a horse named Quintuplets, which means five babies born on the same day. Now to make it even more interesting, Quintuplets was in the fifth position in the fifth race. So at the five-dollar window he bought five tickets on this horse and settled back to collect on this "Sure thing" Quintuplets played the game all the way, and did not spoil the inspiration in fives.She came in fifth. ―x― “The man who fears losing has already lost.” ― George R.R. Martin When it comes to Risk Management.. what your Mother advices, write it on Diary; what your Grandmother advices, write it on Stone. A Short History of Medicine "Doctor, I have an ear ache" 2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root." 1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer." 1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion." 1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill." 1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic." 2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root." -x- "Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute, but they all worship money." Mark Twain Sometimes it's nice to get off the computer and go reconnect with people to talk about what i saw on the computer. ― Graham C. Oscar Wilde once tells a story about the Devil crossing the Libyan Desert, Oscar freezes the scene and narrates.. When the devil met a crowd who were tormenting a holy hermit in the midst of the desert. The saintly man easily shook off their suggestions. After watching their failures, the devil told them, "You're all too crude and simple. Now watch me.. Then the devil whispered the holy man, "Your brother has just been made the Bishop of Tripoli" A scowl of evil jealousy like a thunderbolt clouded the serene face of the hermit. "That", said the devil to the onlookers, "..is the sort of approach that gets results..and starts a whole series of other demonic ones" -x- "The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war." George H. Rickover "Criminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation." Howard Scott In Plato's opinion, man was made for philosophy. In Bacon's Philosophy is made for man. ― T.B.Macaulay "I am among those who think that science has great beauty. A scientist in his laboratory is not only a technician: he is also a child placed before natural phenomena which impress him like a fairy tale." Marie Curie Once a budding Entrepreneur, told me..he got this coolest idea on Mobile Computing and impressed a Venture Capitalist at Starbucks with his presentation and soon expecting a fat cheque.. I simply replied, "Forget that sh*t, tell me how many times you are ready to fail" A FRENCH CAB DRIVER once played a joke on famous English writer and creator of Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, on a visit to Paris. He had driven Sir Arthur to his hotel and on receiving his fare murmured his thanks, "Merci, M. Conan Doyle." "How did you know my name?" queried the surprised writer. "Well, sir," replied the taxi driver, "the local media reported your visit to the city. Your appearance was typically English. Your hair had recently been trimmed by a barber in south of France. I put these together, that's all!" The astonished English writer asked, "Did you have any further evidence?" "Well, sir," replied the cheeky driver, "there was also the fact that your name was clearly mentioned on your luggage." The proof that experience teaches us nothing is that the end of one love, does not prevent us from beginning another. ― Paul Bourget "An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard only one side of the case; God has written all the books." ― Samuel Butler "As against having beautiful workshops, studios, etc., one writes best in a cellar on a rainy day." ― Van Wyck Brooks A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. – William James "When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped." - Marcel Archard "A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students." - John Ciardi "Every time you are not practicing someone else is." Boris Becker Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish! "A mother never realizes that her children are no longer children." ― James Agee "Don't tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results." - George S. Patton "Drama is life with the dull bits cut out." ― Sir Alfred Joseph Hitchcock "I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me." Isaac Newton “A free lunch is only found in mousetraps.” ― Anon The most anxious man in a prison is the warden. ― G B Shaw A rich man's joke is always funny. ― Edward Brown "According to classical aerodynamics, it is impossible for a bumblebee to fly." ― Doctor Who “A free lunch is only found in mousetraps.” ― Anon. “Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy