User:Parisgap/Laurene Simms/Alanakay13 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Parisgap and Klowe7


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Parisgap/Laurene Simms


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Does not exist

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello! First of all, this is a great start! I enjoyed reading this draft, and I see so much potential in this article. I look forward to see the final results!

Format: I am sure you are still figuring out the format of Wikipedia (I do too, and struggle is real.) I would suggest to add a box where you can insert a headshot picture of Laurene Simms and short bullet points of Laurence's life. Here's an example: Miley Cyrus and Nyle DiMarco. See how they have a box with list of where a person is born, occupation, nationality, alma mater, relatives, etc. This would be a great addition to Laurence Simms's article. If you couldn't figure out how to make the box part, I would suggest you to check the previous example I gave you and click on "edit" and "source editing" and you will see the format of setting up the infobox.

Introductory: Bold the name "Dr. Laurene Simms" and add the date when she was born). Can you elaborate more on what she teaches at Gallaudet University? It doesn't have to be each course but her theme in teaching? Maybe give us one more sentence each on what did she dedicate to social justice and language accessibility. This is a great summary of Laurence overall!

Early Life: Is it possible to find out where Laurence Simms was born? It might be likely in Indiana.

Education: Where did Laurence discuss about the lack of resources and knowledge about educating deaf children? A typo: "The next year, she earner ..." Where did she earn her Doctor degree?

Career: Which grade level did she teach at ISD? Also, principal for which department? Is there a timeline? Is there some examples of boards she involve in?

Personal life: If possible, add more info about her personal life. It can be related to her journey with polio?

Advocacy and Leadership: There are several missing punctuation. Also, the citation references should be after the punctuations, not before. Can you elaborate more on why Simms think Cordano should remain in the Presidency? This is my favorite section of all. Good work!

Documentary | Climbing the Avalanche (2018): Maybe add a textbox of "External video" and put in the video of Climbing the Avalanche? Look at the sample of Marlee Matlin at "Career" section. The names of participants aren't completed.

Keep it up a great work! :)

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