User:Parisgap/Laurene Simms/Nell Curtin Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Parisgap


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Parisgap/Laurene Simms


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * I do not believe there is an existing wiki article for this person

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

Great lead, we know who the article is going to be about and what we can expect about them

Early Life

adding where and when she was born would be helpful

Education

Adding more dates and how many years she attended each school will be helpful.

Career

Calling her Laurene feels too informal, using her last name or full name might be more respectful. Adding the dates she started teaching at each school is good for wiki articles.

Personal Life

is she married? where does she live? how old are her children? Also putting this before career makes a lot more sense I think because career and advocacy and leadership are more related. Personal life unnecessarily splits up the flow of the article.

Advocacy and Leadership

Link the Deaf Women of Color website and/or instagram. I think this is your strongest section because of the detailed information and usage of dates.

Documentary

I like this section as well.

Overall Thoughts

Good first draft just need a bit more detailed dates in the first sections.