User:Parisgap/Laurene Simms/Nqm5156 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Klowe7, Parisgap


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Parisgap/Laurene Simms


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * N/A -- article does not yet exist

Evaluate the drafted changes
Disclaimer: From what I understand, biography/Wiki articles on living people can be very challenging as there are many restriction on the type of sources and images that can and cannot be referenced/included due to copyright. If I mention something below that you know would violate any such restriction, please disregard.

Lead


 * For first sentence in the lead section, put "Dr. Laurene Simms" in bold so that it stands out among the rest of the lead section (this is suggested in the Quality Checklist on our course home page).
 * Language accessibility advocacy is mentioned in the lead, but it is not mentioned anywhere else in the article. Perhaps you could include more information on the type of advocacy work Dr. Simms has done focused on language accessibility in the later sections. Otherwise, it may be best to remove "language accessibility" from the lead if that will not come up again.
 * Perhaps add a sentence to the lead section about her also being a prominent/important/well-known leader in the Deaf community?

Content


 * Content is relevant and up to date.
 * Perhaps you could include more information about her siblings -- were any of them deaf, or were all the rest hearing? It may help readers if that is more explicitly mentioned in the article. Also, you mention she has one deaf child. It is relevant to include who that child is and even link to their Wiki page, if they have one. Rosa Lee Timm (the daughter) is also pretty famous in the Deaf community. Maybe researching about the daughter can help find more sources/information about Laurene.
 * I like that you included the documentary, Climbing the Avalanche, as it addresses equity gaps/topics related to underrepresented groups.
 * Maybe include information about the research Dr. Laurene Simms has conducted, or even some information about her Ph.D. topic?
 * Perhaps list a few of the boards on which Dr. Simms participates at the end of the "Career" section.
 * For the personal life section, I remember seeing that she raised her children bilingually. Maybe you can explain how she went about doing that. (Also, I have a book with famous Deaf women. I will check and see if there is a feature on Laurene. If so, I will forward a picture of the page(s) to you both on Slack.

Tone and Balance


 * Tone is neutral, and article presentation of views is balanced when necessary (e.g., Climbing the Avalanche).
 * I like how you include that even though Laurene is invloved with the NBDA, she had her own opinion about Pres. Cordano and sat down with her.

Sources and References


 * References come from a number of secondary, reliable/reputable sources
 * Dr. Simms has authored a few articles. Maybe you can incorporate information from these into your Wiki page in some way. You would probably have to phrase creatively, such as "Simms work demonstrates that she supports xyz approach to deaf education." Also, could refer to lit reviews that reference her work as that would still maintain the secondary source requirement. Check out:
 * https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ976476.pdf
 * https://muse.jhu.edu/article/523171

Organization


 * Maybe use sub-headings for the advocacy and leadership section about each of the separate entities Laurene has worked with. For example, maybe include the following sub-headings: Deaf Women of Color; National Black Deaf Advocates; National Deaf People for Color.

Images and Media


 * If you happen to add images, try to also include visual descriptions for Blind/Deaf/Blind.

Overall Impression


 * Well-written
 * Includes relevant links to other Wiki pages
 * Images/media would help make the page more visually interesting

** Since the article is new, if you have not done so yet, consider what other WIki pages you could edit to include links to your page. For example, on Indiana School for the Deaf, you could add Laurene as a Notable Alum and link to this page.