User:ParkerL7/Mobile phone/Daniel Blomgren Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(ParkerL7)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * (User:ParkerL7/assignment7)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * (Mobile phone)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall, the information added was very good, and it provides interesting insight into some potential issues. The content and additions were well written, and provided concise and detailed facts. The first section regarding the impact on education is especially well written, and provides good sources. However, for the user privacy section, I believe there could be more information regarding how exactly it works. Specifically, how the phone gets tracked, and who does it (phone companies, app suppliers, etc.). This could also lead to an interesting section about the ethics behind it, and it could talk about the amount that a person does get tracked, and what can be accessed. Also, the entertainment section could possibly go into detail about the effect on other entertainment services, and how much the smartphone specifically has affected that. When it comes to the sources, there are some slightly dated ones (but not too bad) going back to 2010, and some really recent ones coming from 2019, which will provide good information. Overall, the additions drafted are really good and were not biased one way or the other, but it could use some further expansion in some areas.