User:PatrickR dP

Suggested Edits for the DigiPen Article
I originally posted these changes on the DigiPen Talk page, but have moved them here to avoid cluttering that space.

History
This section should be written as paragraphs, rather than bullet points. Here’s how I would suggest presenting it:

DigiPen Institute of Technology was originally founded in 1988 by Claude Comair in Vancouver, B.C., Canada as DigiPen Corporation, a computer simulation and animation company. In 1990, DigiPen began offering a 3D animation program and began collaborating with Nintendo of America to create a post-secondary program for video game programming. With Nintendo's support, DigiPen accepted its first class of video game programming students in 1994 as the DigiPen Applied Computer Graphics School.

In May of 1996, the DigiPen became certified to award Associate and Bachelor of Science Degrees in Real-Time Interactive Simulation (RTIS) and Associate of Applied Arts Degrees in 3D Computer Animation. This made DigiPen the first university in the world to offer degree programs dedicated to computer and video game development.

The school relocated to Redmond, Washington, U.S. in January 1998, and in 2000, DigiPen awarded diplomas to the first class of RTIS graduates. The RTIS program proceeded to become DigiPen's flagship degree program. The university has since added a number of additional degree programs geared toward video game development as well as more general computer sciences.

Campus (change section to “Campuses”)
To make the main campus’s description sound less “salesy”, remove the middle two sentences of that paragraph (from “This new campus” to “general store”).

The descriptions for DigiPen’s campuses in Singapore and Bilbao, Spain should be written as paragraphs like the entry for the main campus, not bullet points. Here’s what I would suggest for this section:

Singapore
In 2008, DigiPen expanded its operations to Singapore and opened the DigiPen Institute of Technology Singapore campus. Students can earn degrees in Bachelor of Science in Computer Science in Real-Time Interactive Simulation, the Bachelor of Science in Computer Science and Game Design, the Bachelor of Fine Arts in Digit Art and Animation, and the Bachelor of Arts in Game Design.

Bilbao, Spain
DigiPen opened its Bilbao, Spain campus in 2010, and offers two degree programs — the BS in Computer Science in Real-Time Interactive Simulation and the BFA in Digital Art and Animation.

Dual Degree Program with Keimyung University, South Korea
In 2009, DigiPen teamed with Keimyung University (KMU) in Daegu, South Korea and began offering a dual-degree program for Korean and international students studying at KMU. Through this program, students can study for two years at KMU and two years at any DigiPen campus to receive a BS in Computer Science in Real-Time Interactive Simulation degree.

Merge Ranking section with the summary of the article
“Ranking” is too short to warrant its own section and can be merged with the summary of the article at the top. The sentence should be rephrased as such:

In 2014, the Princeton Review ranked DigiPen #3 on its list of “Top 25 Undergraduate Schools to Study Game Design for 2014.”

Change “Education” section to “Academic Programs”
In addition, to reduce clutter and simplify the text, here’s what I would recommend for the content of this section (replacing the current content):

DigiPen offers the following degree programs:
 * BS in Computer Science in Real-Time Interactive Simulation
 * BS in Computer Science and Game Design
 * BS in Computer Science
 * BS in Computer Engineering
 * BS in Engineering and Sound Design
 * BFA in Digital Art and Animation
 * BA in Game Design
 * BA in Music and Sound Design
 * MS in Computer Science
 * MFA in Digital Arts

Add “Local and National Recognition” section
This section summarizes the points of interest that make DigiPen a noteworthy university, and would include the following content:

In 2010, John Marchione, the mayor of the city of Redmond, declared August 27, 2010 “DigiPen Day” in celebration of the ribbon-cutting ceremony of the school’s new campus in Redmond, WA.

[Content from Student Awards section of current page]

Update Student Awards section
The Student Awards section has become too lengthy, especially considering the same content is already published on DigiPen’s Student Awards page on their website (https://www.digipen.edu/about/student-awards/). Rather than keep a running list of each game and award won by DigiPen students, this list would better serve the reader if it condensed the information into a briefer table. Here is what I suggest (the numbers represent the most up-to-date figures according to DigiPen):

Remove “Students” section
This entire section (with the exception of the “Student Awards” content, which should be moved; see above) can be removed.

Research & Development
Add this sentence before the bullet points to contextualize the section:

DigiPen's Research & Development department has made numerous contributions to scientific fields by developing technologies for various companies around the world.

Change “Notable Staff” to “Notable Staff and Faculty”
Remove Xin Li and Prasanna Ghali from this list. (While they are notable within the DigiPen community, their notability does not extend overly far outside of DigiPen.)

These individuals should be added to this list:
 * Mark Henne: Senior Lecturer, Department of Digital Arts
 * Ellen Beeman: Senior Lecturer, Department of Game Software Design and Production
 * Steve Rabin: Adjunct faculty, Department of Computer Science
 * Brian L. Schmidt: Adjunct faculty member

If this section seems too long in the current format, the sub-bullets could be condensed into a single line that follows the name and a colon. Example:

DigiPen employs many staff and faculty members from the video game, multimedia, and entertainment industries.
 * Claude Comair: Founder & President of DigiPen Institute of Technology; Co-Founder of Nintendo Software Company
 * Etc.

Remove “Faculties”, “Departments”, and "Summer camps" sections
These sections can be removed. The Wikipedia pages of universities, large or small, rarely include a list of the school’s various departments. The faculties section is redundant. The summer camps section is unnecessary.