User:PatrickTheveny/East African Federation/AngusLi6 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

PatrickTheveny


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:PatrickTheveny/East African Federation


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * East African Federation

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello! I think this is an exciting first draft and seems like it will make valuable changes to the original article. More might be done in the lead section to emphasize the long historical and political legacy of the federation, as in the original article it is currently a little sparse. I like the content of the motivations section, but at least from what I've seen of other Wikipedia articles, it might be better split between the current Background section (which is also short in the original) and potentially a new Potential Impacts section. As you cite the sources you have quite frequently over the draft, it might also be useful to find more to prevent overreliance. I've had some luck using Google Scholar and JSTOR in addition to the Williams library search. Good work overall!

Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it! I was definitely considering combining the motivation section with the background section, and having a separate section titled rather than potential impacts might be a better alternative. Editing the lead section is definitely something I could do in the upcoming weeks, as the only reason I with-stained from doing so was to maintain the sections brevity, but it seems like maybe that should be my top priority. In terms of citing the same sources, I agree that i should find more sources, but I also just realized I hadn't translated over a few sources I used from the original article into my sandboxes reference section, so there is a little more variety in sources in my original draft, but adding more will be a priority for me. Google scholar and Jstor are good suggestions, and library search engine has worked well for me thus far. Thank you again, I appreciate your peer review and will try and incorporate your advice into my future edits.