User:PatriotWarHero/sandbox

Article Evaluation

The article on Andre Shinyashiki is a very accurate article. It is information that is presented in a non-biased manner. It also provides links that can be accessed. Everything in the article is information that is is relevant to the topic. There is a wide variety of sources used so that all the information does not come from one place.

Citation

Borussia Dortmund Bus Bombing

The fans of both teams were unified after the bombing and at the first leg in Dortmund the fans of both teams sang together the infamous soccer chant "You'll Never Walk Alone", which originated at Liverpool F.C. in England.

Roadmap Part 3


 * 1) Lead Section
 * 2) Removing the second paragraph of the lead section which talks about potential suspects of the crime as it is not something that belongs in the introductory portion of the wikipedia article and instead will be discussed in the investigation portion of the article.
 * 3) Bombing
 * 4) In the aftermath of the bombing, the game was played and AS Monaco beat Borussia Dortmund 3-2 in the 1st leg of the UEFA Champions League Quarterfinals.
 * 5) The bus used by Borussia Dortmund for the game was built stronger than a typical bus used and the strength of the bus likely led to there being less casualties than there would have been if the bus had been normal sized.
 * 6) Investigation
 * 7) Claims of Responsibility
 * 8) Initially there were claims that the Borussia Dortmund supporter’s groups were infiltrated by neo-Nazi sympathizers which in the beginning, people believed could have led to the terrorist attacks.
 * 9) Suspects
 * 10) This type of terrorist was different than many previous ones we have seen because this terrorist was a terrorist for profit. A terrorist for profit is someone who commits an act of terrorism in an attempt to achieve financial gain for themselves. The terrorist hoped to tank the value of the club and buy stock in it once it tanked, and then once it rebounded he was going to make a profit from it.
 * 11) Trial
 * 12) Sergej W. admitted during the trial that he learned how to make the bomb on Google. He also said that he intentionally put less materials in the bomb than suggested on Google so that way he would not kill them. He used three pipe-made bombs in his attack.
 * 13) Marc Bartra, a defender for Borussia Dortmund, testified at the trial of Sergey and saying that he feared for his life as the bomb blew up and injured him. Bartra in the attack suffered a fractured wrist and had to spend five days in the hospital in the aftermath of the attack. Sergey had tried to apologize to Bartra during the trial, however, Bartra would not acknowledge his attacker as he discussed how his life had been altered by the bombing of the team bus.
 * 14) German prosecutors in court argued that Sergej W. should be sentenced to life in prison for his actions. Sergej W. argued that he did not mean to kill anyone with his attack but the prosecutors argued that it was not true and that he intended to kill as many Dortmund members as possible.
 * 15) In November 2018, Sergej W. was sentenced to 14 years in prison for his attack on the Borussia Dortmund team bus. He was charged with 28 counts of attempted murder for the April 2017 attack.
 * 16) Aftermath
 * 17) Borussia Dortmund complained about the game being rescheduled for the day after. They felt that there needed to be more time for them to recover from the incident and that the 24-hour turnaround was going to be tremendously difficult for them and it would be hard for them to play at a high level.
 * 18) Thomas Tuchel, the manager of Borussia Dortmund at the time of the bus attack, is alleged to have criticized the players mentality after the game and attacking them inter for not being ready to play the day after the attack. There is a belief that this spat was the beginning of the end of Thomas Tuchel's time as manager of Borussia Dortmund.
 * 19) References
 * 20) Link from ESPN regarding the anger of Borussia Dortmund manager Thomas Tuchel about the game being played the next day.
 * 21) The Independent newspaper from the United Kingdom discussed the sentencing that Sergej W. received for his terrorist attack on the Dortmund team bus.
 * 22) The Local, a newspaper in Germany, reported on the trial of Sergej W. by presenting the information of the trial to the public. This case had tremendous public interest with many German citizens invested in this case as it attacked one of the most prominent teams in the country’s favorite sport.
 * 23) The Irish Mirror covered the attack and tried to look into the motivations of Sergey J. and how he learned to build the bomb that he used in the attack on the Borussia Dortmund team bus.
 * 24) BBC News in England discussed the role of Borussia Dortmund defender Marc Bartra in the trial against Sergej W. as he vividly discussed the injuries that he suffered in the attack, he was the only player on the team that suffered injuries in the attack.
 * 25) Onefootball is an English website that discussed the book of German journalist Pit Gottschalk who said that Tuchel’s statements to the media were not reflective of his actual view on the subject and was actually rather critical of his players for not being ready for the game.

PEER REVIEW!!!!!!

Overall, I really like your article. I thought it flowed smoothly and your contributions seemed like they added a lot of relevant and missing information to the article. With that said, there were a few awkward sentences. The one that stuck out to me was, under Claims of Responsibility, “…which people in the beginning believed could have led to the terrorist attacks.” I would change this to read, “…which in the beginning, people believed could have led to the terrorist attacks.” It is only a minor change, but it makes the sentence flow more smoothly. Other than that, I think your sentences came together well. I was wondering who Sergej W. was. I would suggest using his full name once and then referring to him (or her) by their last name for the rest of the article. That is not a big mistake, but I have always been told that it is more professional to use someone’s last name when referring to them. I am by no means a grammar freak, but there were no grammar or spelling mistakes that stuck out to me. Just to be sure though I would suggest copying and pasting your article to Word and then having Word proofread the document for you and then make any changes that it finds. The article is written like every other Wikipedia article I have read, which is good because it means that you sound like an encyclopedia. If you choose to make the minor changes I have suggested then I think you’ll be ready to upload your contributions to the actual article!