User:Paulusaugustinus/Corporeal Punishment: Good or Bad for Child Discipline?

CORPOREAL PUNISHMENT: GOOD OR BAD FOR CHILD DISCIPLINE? By: Ryndon M. Paulus Augustinus

John Paul II, the most traveled pope, during his homily in Capitol Hill, Washington, October 7, 1979 said that when a child is considered a burden or a means to satisfy an emotional need, we will come forward and insist that each child is a unique and unrepeatable gift of God and who has a right to a family united in love.

The statement of the pope is to be understood, therefore, that the child is a wellspring of hope. It is now the responsibility of the parents to think of the future of the family, the children in particular. Children are the hope of tomorrow. How will this become a reality? What kind of children are we producing? Xristo-centered or  self-centered. It all depends on the learning and training the child received from the parents.

In every family there is a problem. It could be the children. Children may be disobedient and rebellious. Today, many children are defiant and disorderly. Why is it happening? What is really the problem? The problem is improper training and education. When we start right, and maintain it, we always end right. When we start wrong, and do not correct it, we always end wrong. It is very important that parents must know what to teach and how to teach their children.

What is the wrong starting point in teaching children?

Most parents begin at the SELF when motivating children. Parents commonly ask their children self-centered questions like “What do you want to be when you are grown up?” “What are your dreams & ambitions for your future?” These are good questions, but if we notice it, it focuses on the SELF, and most likely, life, the life of the child will end miserable. Why? Because according to the Lord Iesous Xristos, “Self-help is no help at all...” “... I am the vine, and you are the branches. If you stay joined to me, and I stay joined to you, then you will produce lots of fruit. But you cannot do anything without me.”(Matt. 16:25, TM; John 15:5, CEV).

So, “for everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible... everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.” (Col. 1:16, TM). I recommend that parents must follow the scriptural principle: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” (Prov. 22:6, NIV). To go against this principle is a wrong starting point in teaching and training a child. If not corrected, life of the child will become meaningless. The child will grow self-centered.

Problems are linked to the family, the first and basic community. It is in the family that children are nurtured. If the family is self-centered, presumably, children will have dysfunctional personality. But if the family is Xristo-centered, most probably, children will have sound and peace loving personality.

John Paul II said, “Consequently, the family occupies a distinguished position. It is the sanctuary where the great and intimate adventure of every unique human person unfolds.The family, therefore, is obliged to take on basic duties which cannot but greatly enrich the parents – the main players – by making them God’s direct co-operators in the formation of new men.”

What is the correct starting point in teaching children?

Parents must motivate children to put God’s work first and do what God wants because we were made by God and for God. “Know that the Lord Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; we are His people and the sheep of His pasture.” (Ps. 100:3, NASB). It is the responsibility of parents to teach children that in the family God is our Ruler; God is our Creator. The first & utmost duty of God’s people is to worship God. Rich or poor, the first thing that must be understood by the children is to always obey God. It is essential that children will learn to trust God.

Parents need to educate their children. In educating the children there are three theories to be considered: A) Love for truth. B) Love for freedom. C) Love for cheerfulness. If these principles are observed, most likely, the family will live a harmonious life. Parents are secure. Children are happy. But this is not an overnight task. Parenting is not an easy obligation. Lots of sacrifices are needed in order to have Xristo-centered children.

Adults that have influence over children are responsible for the way they model their behavior. Dan Seaborn, in his book, 26 Words That Will Improve the Way You Do Family has the following principles  for parenting that will help parents become good model:

1) Properly stretch before parenting.

As parents, to “properly stretch” involves remembering our own childhood before we point the finger at our children. Before we correct our children, are our actions built on a solid moral foundation?

2) Know the rules and live by them.

It’s important for parents to establish moral guidelines for the home and adhere to them. We cannot give ourselves license to break the very rules we have told our children to follow.

3) Have cool-down periods.

In parenting, all parents – especially at-home moms – need time to get away. Spend time with our children. We need a break. Have time with the family to enjoy being together. Probably a week or two of fun is sufficient.

4) Remember that parenting is a process.

It helps to remember that parenting never goes away. We will do it as long as we are alive. Try to relax in the process. If we take one stage too seriously, we will burn out and won’t have the strength to continue. If we establish a strong foundation, remain faithful through the years, and finish strong, our children will look to us as role models.

5) Pour refreshments into your mind.

Parents need to rejuvenate and strengthen their minds. Use wisdom and understanding to establish the home. This is acquired from God’s inerrant Word.

6) Effective parents will get old & get weary but never fade.

It’s OK to feel dead tired every now and then. What is important as parents we are able to influence children to become good individual. Our good examples will always be remembered.

7) Handle your children with care.

It does not mean free from discipline. “Discipline your son in his early years while there is hope. If you don’t, you will ruin his life.” “If you refuse to discipline your son, it proves you don’t love him; for if you love him you will be prompt to punish him.” “A youngster’s heart is filled with rebellion, but proper punishment will drive it out of him.” “And now a word to you parents. Do not keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with the loving discipline the Lord Himself approves, with suggestions and godly advice.” (Prov. 19:18; 13:24; 22:15; Eph. 6:4, LB).

8) Teach responsibility.

Good parents teach their children to become responsible. Do you bail your children out? Do you admit that your child makes mistakes? Do you hold him responsible for those mistakes? We need to teach our children to accept responsibility.

9) Build a mentor into their lives.

At home, children look to their parents as primary trainers, but they can also benefit from having other mentors as well. Just be sure that the mentor you will get is also Xristo-centered.

10) Enjoy yourself and pray for yourself.

Parenting is not an easy responsibility. Prayer helps parents keep the joy and fun in teaching and training children. We can turn parenting problems to GOD who is much more capable and powerful than we, and then we can relax and enjoy the ride. Remember always: “A family that prays together, stays together.”