User:Pe11aeon/OLES2129

Thoughts on Warhammer 40,000

The first instance of the page is lacking in a number of ways. Generally, its formatting is poor, with little paragraphing and no friendly way for a reader to navigate the information which should be divided into discrete sections. The language is lacking in formality, mainly due to the syntax and poor flow from sentence to sentence. Grammar is okay, but it does not maintain the standards of more accomplished Wikipedia articles. The information discussed is quite limited and does not create the network of links that the article requires. If I had been the creator of the article, I would have maintained a more formal voice, exercised better structuring, and laid a more extensive foundation for the article to develop into what it needs to become.

The first edit undertaken on the page improved the paragraphing of the page, highlighted key terms, developed the web of hyperlinks required by the page, and added sections of further reading. It still leaves much to be desired given the depth of the subject, but as the article was written in 2002 when the information on the topic had not yet found a place on Wikipedia, this is understandable. If I had been the first editor of the article, I would have created more hyperlinks, introduced more key terms for readers to follow and delve into (if an appropriate page exists), and separated the article by adding headings.

Topic 6 Tasks

Updated the page 14th Deadly Sin. Its opening statement contained outdated information regarding the number of entries in the series. I updated this information appropriately.