User:Pearl.emokaro/Creatine/JJJ7171 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Pearl Emokaro


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Pearl did a very great job at updating the lead of her chosen article and in many instances added links to other pages within this section which was very helpful as a reader to clarify certain words. The lead includes an introductory sentence that clearly describes the articles topic and the articles major sections. It was a very clear and helpful introduction to the article and allowed me as a reader to gain an apprehension of the topic using words that non-scientists would be able to understand. I did not find the lead to be overly detailed, as it was straight to the point and gave me a very good introduction to the topic before reading more. Overall, I think Pearl did a great job at this portion of the assignment and her additions reflected the new content that was added.

The content that Pearl added was most definitely relevant to the topic. Her contributions were about creatine and how this substance can be used to help benefit people with certain diseases such as ALS and Huntington’s disease. These contributions can help inform the public about how important this compound can be as well as maybe even improve someone’s quality of life who is struggling with either of these diseases. I was able to view her work in the sandbox, but I was not able to find the information on ALS or Huntington’s disease within the published version of the article. I was however able to see her contributions to the lead sentence in the published version. The content that was added by Pearl was up to date and I did not read anything that did not belong in this article. It was all very informative information that helped to deepen my knowledge on the topic.

The content that was added by Pearl was very neutral and it was evident that she was not trying to persuade the reader in favour of one position or away from another. She did not include any biased opinions on this topic, and she only included facts that were always backed up by a source. Since I was only able to see her lead sentences in the published version of the article, I can say she used sources to back up her information here, but I am unsure if she also did this for the rest of her work. She did a very great job of this portion of the assignment, and I found that her information was very helpful in this way. She did not choose a side when discussing the presented information and this allowed me as a reader to feel as though I was not trying to be persuaded.

Since I was not able to view most of Pearl’s work in the published portion of this article, I was not able to see which sources she used. This is something that Pearl should change for the future as it made marking this assignment a little difficult. With the information that was included in the lead of the published version I can see that she did a great job at including sources here. She has included two sources right off the bat and they appear to be reliable, and the content accurately reflects what was cited. When I clicked on the links they worked and brought me to the exact page that Pearl acquired the information from and they. Her sources were from 2008 and 2016 which are fairly current, but I was not able to view the other sources that she added on the portion containing ALS or Huntington’s disease

After reviewing this article, I noticed a few spelling and grammar mistakes, but it was overall very well written. For example, there were a few instances where a space was needed after a period and a – was needed between the word long-term. She also spelt possess and the correct word she should have used was possesses. Overall, this section of the assignment was very well done