User:Peiyu Wan/LGBT culture in Chengdu/Ivy Zhao 0704 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Peiyu Wan


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Peiyu%20Wan/LGBT_culture_in_Chengdu?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Peer review

Complete your peer review exercise below, providing as much constructive criticism as possible. The more detailed suggestions you provide, the more useful it will be to your classmate. Make sure you consider each of the following aspects:

Lead

The author added content to the lead part of the article, which provided more information about the introduction of LGBT culture in Chengdu. I think the information is useful. However, they are a little bit too detailed for the introduction part. Most of them are mainly focusing on gay bars and entertainment, and they could be described as a separate section as part of the LGBT culture in Chengdu.

Content

I think the content added is very relevant to the topic. The author added information about the background of LGBT culture in China as a whole and introduced how the group used to be discriminated against and oppressed, which provided a useful background for introducing the LGBT culture in Chengdu in particular.

Tone and Balance

The content added is neutral and unbiased. The part about the background of LGBT culture might sound a little bit harsh, but they are accurate and unbiased. But except for the oppression faced by LGBT groups in China, the author could add more information about their resistance to the oppression and recent development and movement of LGBT groups.

Sources and References

The sources provided by the author are valid and the links work very well. They provided solid evidenced for the content that the author included in the article. One thing that I think can be improved is that since it is an article about LGBT groups in China, the author could include some sources coming from inside of the groups or Chinese authors.

Organization

The organization is very clear. The content is easy to read and understand and there is no grammatical error.

Images and Media

There is no image added currently.

Overall impressions

I think the content added to the article is generally helpful that it provided more information about the LGBT background in China which can help us understand the culture in Chengdu better, and the author provided reliable sources to support the information. Great Job!