User:Peteryebuzhidaogaiqushenmemingzi/Egyptian Music/Tommytz Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Peteryebuzhidaogaiqushenmemingzi


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Peteryebuzhidaogaiqushenmemingzi/Egyptian_Music?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

To begin, you have offered a wealth of information on the topic of Egyptian music. However, since this is a vast subject, it will avoid diving into the specifics of subtopics. As with the article, there are sections where you give little information (eg Folkloric music). I'm hoping you can provide further details regarding such condensed pieces. Additionally, the article lacks several in-text citation. If you include it, the reader will have an easier time verifying the material. I see that the information you provided is fairly similar to that in the wikipedia page. Perhaps you made modifications directly on that page?