User:Peytonmk/Effects of meditation/Lkshephe Peer Review

General info
Peytonmk
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Peytonmk/Effects of meditation
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Effects of meditation

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think your edits make the article's description of this type of meditation much more understandable. The sentence, "The practice aims to and increase a sense of awareness of the present moment" is a little confusing to read, mostly because of the "aims to and increase" section. If I understand the sentence correctly, I would suggest changing it to, "The practice aims to increase a sense of awareness of the present moment." I think taking out certain sentences from the original article was a great idea because some of the original information did not provide much meaningful information. I think adding the information about the meta-analysis was a great idea, and you did a great job portraying the results in a simple and understable way. My only suggestion is separating a sentence in your meta-analysis paragraph, in particular, "higher quality of life scores following the retreats with results holding steady even at follow-up" and changing it into, "higher quality of life scores following the retreats. These results held steady even at the follow-up." This is great work!