User:Pgunter99/Alcohol abuse/Lridley097 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

pgunter99


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Pgunter99/Alcohol abuse - Wikipedia


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Alcohol abuse - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Good evening,

My first impression is that the information you provide is very relevant, as stigma is definitely a factor in treatment. The paragraph you wrote is a little wordy, and may benefit from being a bit more concise, for example, " Those struggling with alcohol abuse have been found to be less likely to take advantage of alcohol services and treatment if they believed there were high amounts of stigma towards those struggling with alcohol abuse," could be those who struggle with alcohol abuse are less likely to utilize substance (or alcohol) abuse treatment services when they they perceived higher stigma with alcohol abuse." This is only a suggestion of course.

The fourth and fifth sentences (starting with "while negative thoughts", ending with "with alcohol abuse") are also a bit lengthy/wordy. It may help to find a way to combine these. In your discussion of stigma and the negative thoughts and emotions that come with it, you could consider looking into how shame and stigma are associated with the cycle of addiction, and how it not only may prevent someone from seeking treatment, but may contribute to relapse as well.

While it may be going into too much detail for the article, my impression of the current Wikipedia article is that the prevention and treatment sections are a bit lacking in a well rounded overview. The development of alcohol and substance abuse models has changed over the years (from a moral failing model, a medical/disease model etc.). Marlatt developed the cognitive behavioral model for relapse prevention, and this has been modified and added to with time. It may be worth looking into, although it is possible that such information would fit better in a different article.

Small edit- I would take out the word "finally" in the last sentence.

The mental illness section of the main article is also quite limited. Adding in comorbidity rates and the often bidirectional relationship between alcohol use disorder and other mental illnesses may be worthwhile.

Your sources come from credible journals, however it is somewhat noteworthy that they are individual articles, and it may be a good idea to pull from reviews/meta-analyses, textbooks, etc. per the Wikipedia guidelines. With that said, the source list from the main article includes a fair amount of individual journal articles, so I don't know.

Lridley097 (talk) 23:55, 28 February 2021 (UTC)Lauren