User:Phaedra Corrente

Phaedra Corrente (born May 7, 1996) is a student, gamer, artist, and the best person you could ever ask for in your life. Of an Italian-Canadian descent, her English kicks so much ass that even Plato won't understand her profound depth and philosophy in life. Her illustrations send Van Gogh and Picasso to hell, her writing epic enough to feed Shakespeare poisons of the olden days. At only 14, she's already the queen of the secret underground world, where little orphans honor her in a shrine deep in Kyoto. Her eloquence, skill, grace, and poise, grants her endless love and attention of men and women alike all over the world. It is said that in a secret place in Soviet Russia, Phaedra eats you. It's believed that Phaedra is dangerous enough to one day rule the world. Once she's legal.

Early Life
Born in Brampton to two wonderful parents, Phaedra was diagnosed as Officially Awesome at birth. The rare medical condition had not even reached textbooks yet, and doctors were unable to understand the full extent of her ability. Because of her condition, she was unnervingly bright academically, where she also got along with many of her peers. At a young age, her teacher noticed that her expertise was art. The minute she picked up the pencil, her hands knew exactly what to do, constructing her first and most well-known artwork, The Persistence of Memory, in 1997. However, Salvador Dali traveled through time to steal the image back to 1931 where he sold it for millions of dollars, which then it became his masterpiece instead. Inconveniently, he had used extra-mega-techy-futuristic stuff to erase Phaedra's memory, which resulted in neither she or her parents having memory of her work. Fortunately, Phaedra's skill was still able to survive the trauma of her amnesia, as evident in her more recent works now that she is closer to her enlightenment.

Unbeknownst to Phaedra at the time, being Officially Awesome meant that she was required to rule Canada. Immediately, the men of the continent of North America set out to find said queen with a golden slipper that would crumble once in the presence of her. The very act was immoral and men were slaved and killed when trying to seek out the queen. No one has been able to identify her with the exception of a handful of close friends.

Quasi-Enlightenment
When diagnosed with Officially Awesome, individuals are able to identify their sixth, seventh and eighth senses when reaching their stage of Quasi-Enlightenment. Phaedra was able to deduce her amazing ability and her friend, Prisca, recognized it as well, deciding to write a long ass Wikipedia article about it. Another common name for the dumb case of Officially Awesome that Prisca suffers from is schizophrenia and/or insanity.

Abilities
Although not able to perform every single one of these tasks just yet as she is not to the point of full enlightenment, her abilities include, but are not limited to:


 * Telepathy
 * Telekenesis
 * Traveling into anime worlds
 * Medusa syndrome
 * Extreme Whoopassery
 * Hardcore Awesomeness

Only 0.0001% of the population is diagnosed with Officially Awesome. The medical term for it is Kylosdnxmaeodawplanqiaxmkasexophrenia, and it is not released to the public so not many know of its existence, except for doctors, scientists, and the patient who are Officially Awesome themselves when they reach quasi-enlightenment.

Weak Point
Chuck Norris.

... But although she may be great, she does have one other weakness other than Walker, Texas Ranger himself. Since the individual in question is already so amazing and tough and artistic, finding a suitable mate is near impossible for her. Like the tiger, she is an endangered species, one of a kind; this is why she has trouble finding a good man or even a passable offer. But whenever she does, she will find someone that gets the fire burning in her loins and will then become characterized by being intensely caring, cleaning and cooking meals for others, and repeatedly using sick child-like nicknames and Eskimo kisses. The medical professionals of the seven realms have called this disease the "'50s Girlfriend Bitch Syndrome," a.k.a F.G.F.B.S. When this syndrome takes hold, she is utterly defenseless, and this is the only time in which to kill the Dragonborn herself. But be forewarned: if you do fail and attack without the intent to kill, then you will unleash fury that even the seven levels of hell do not possess.

People say she leaves no survivors, but I wonder; where do the stories about her come from? All information is from a reliable source: Darth Vader himself.

P.S. She is also known as the Centerer.

Peers' Thoughts
"Phaedra Corrente... how do I even begin to explain Phaedra Corrente?" — Prisca Lam

"Phaedra Corrente is flawless." — Brian Molko

"She has two Play Stations, and one XBox 360." — PYRAMID HEAD

"I hear her hair's insured for over $9,000." — Vegeta

"I hear she does video game commercials... in Japan." — Matt

"Her favourite movie is Benny and Joon." — Johnny Depp

"One time, she met HYDE on a plane..." — Ruki

"... And he told her she was pretty." — Uruha

"One time... she punched me in the face. It was awesome." — Miyavi

"Phaedra Corrente is a girl of literature; she is a girl through which you can see the essence of art and the beauty of poems and expressions. She is the smartest girl in our English class, and she may very well come to rule the world (as the author has mentioned). There is so much to say about her genius; this is why her name is Phaedra." - Anonymous

Personal Life
Phaedra uses her time to play video games, write, read, watch Monty Python videos and study Japanese. She lives a low-profile life where no one around her is aware of her extraterritorial powers. She's really rather woody indeed.