User:Phil the Human/Winners Don't Use Drugs/BUknight Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Phil the Human


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Winners Don't Use Drugs


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Winners Don't Use Drugs

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: The lead has been updated with some minor edits. I think the new lead flows a little better than the one on the current article and gets rid of some fluff. In the drafted lead however, the last sentence says "FBI Director" and I'm not sure if it is supposed to reference an actual person or if the slogan was attributed to all subsequent FBI Directors after Sessions left the FBI. Maybe this could be worded more clearly.

Content: Most of the new content seems to be under the 'history' section. The content is relevant and up to date and you use a neutral tone. In the first sentence under the 'History', "the message" might be more clear if you state that the slogan would be appearing in video games. It also might be helpful to clarify in the second sentence that those are video games (Double Dragon, John Elway's Quarterback, and Tecmo Bowl). I think the placement of the new content for the article is good. It gives a brief understanding of how this slogan was used before delving into the war on drugs among other things.

Sources: The sources look good. The only thing I might suggest is adding 1 or 2 citation to the first paragraph under the History section.

Overall: I think you restructured the article well and added some relevant information and sources. One thing I would suggest for the whole article is to make sure that when condensing information, it does not become confusing as to what the sentence is referring to.

Great job!

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