User:Phillyfan27/International Jewish Labor Bund/Photoworldtravler Peer Review

General info
(Phillyfan27)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Phillyfan27/International Jewish Labor Bund
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):International Jewish Labor Bund

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The Lead section is well written and concise. I picked up on a few grammatical errors. One such was IJLB is, when it should be IJLB was. Groups or groups would maybe sound more fluid if it was groups and groups. The lead also seems to be missing a citation as noted in the actual article. The lead is very concise and clear.

Regarding tone the first added section is balanced and does not seem to possess any bias or any issues in how the information is portrayed. The section on Bund vs Zionist beliefs needs some work however. The tone does not sound neutral, instead it seems to have some internal beliefs that are slightly seeping through the article. This could easily be fixed with some quick word changes to make it sound more neutral. The content itself is excellent, just a slight tone issue in the 2nd and 3rd paragraph of that section. Overall the tone and balance is excellent, and would be near perfect with just a couple corrections to how it is portrayed in the aforementioned section.

The content seems to be detailed and well researched. It seems relevant to the topic and adds a deep perspective that enhances the article.The sources do not seem to be plagiarized. The standout section for content was the section on Bund v.s Zionist beliefs as the authors added content and context. The content all seems to come from reliable sources from an author with an academic background. Two sources are repeated twice, that being source one and two "Katz, Alfred (1965). "Bund: The Jewish Socialist Labor Party". The Polish Review. 10 (3): 67–74. ISSN 0032-2970." The second twice repeated source is Brumberg, Abraham (1999). "Anniversaries in Conflict: On the Centenary of the Jewish Socialist Labor Bund". Jewish Social Studies. 5 (3): 196–217. ISSN 1527-2028." This needs to be correctly changed in Wikipedia as a repeating source, not two separate citations.

Regarding the formatting there are a few issues. Certain grammatical issues appear on multiple occasions, the biggest being referring to a defunct organization as if it still exists. There are also some spacing issues such as the History section which states "and therefore the demise of the Yiddish infrastructure." Small errors like this can easily be corrected by reading through each section multiple times.

The article was well written and added a great deal of missing context and content rom the original wiki article. The only flaws were grammar and some tone issues which can easily be fixed with further revisions. The twice repeated citations could stem from not inputing the sources into wikipedia correctly, which would be an easy correction. The tone in the Bund vs Zionist section should be corrected. One section is missing titled "The Bund in the United State". If the authors do not plan on adding this section they should delete the subsection from their article, although I do feel it would give a great deal of context to how the Bund grew and how it was different in different countries. Overall great article and read, all it will take is a few corrections to be at a publishable level.