User:Pholasin

The Mini Huns of Lothian or Heart of Midlothian

Heart of Midlothian Football Club, one of the oldest Scottish football clubs, has a sinister history smeared with perversion and shame. Originally formed as purely a football team to compete in top flight Scottish football, the 'club' became a developmental institution for bigoted ideals and beliefs soon after it's inception. Indeed, the name Mini Hun was created to describe the Hearts fans, who themselves are desperate to demonstrate to those associated with Rangers football club that they are worthy of the status of ignoramus in chief and win a coveted position of season ticket holder at Ibrox.

The progress of the institution of Heart of Midlothian through the ages is truley a sad story. The local Gorgie boys (incumbent Heart of Midlothian forefathers circa 1875 - 1949) adopted the Sectarian stance aligned with Rangers Football Club as a direct result of aiming to be profitable in the predominant local trade in Edinburgh.

It has been discovered that the Gorgie Rent Boy was not interested in association with Catholics, as the prevalence of male dormatory based catholic schools at the time represented a significant business loss. Through their increased 'business' dealings with the Protestant based Rangers supporter (see also sash kissing bigoted hun), the social direction of the Gorgie population to this day aligned itself with that of it's early employers and through generations this ignorant attitude pervaded through the incumbent population making up the Heart of Midlothian Football Club Support. In fact, the very existence of HMFC can be attributed to this early booming trade.

A number of further alternate trade options was realised to the lowly Gorgie Rent Boy through this period. With the close affiliation with the English and the Dutch (stemming from the newly adopted sectarian stance) the post war trade of opium smuggling from Holland to Edinburgh boomed, with many local lads visiting the affluent rent boy friendly market of Amsterdam. Typically several days were spent in Amsterdam, working the local bars to fund a substantial opium purchase, which was then smuggled back home via the recently stretched orifice.

Regretably, like all cities exposed to the negative influence of drugs, the early promise soon fell away and the area and the club became stooped in mediocrity. All through this period however, the Mini Huns held firm to the beliefs passed onto them by their forefathers and lived their lives to demonstrate that they were worthy of a place in their own personal shangri-la, Ibrox stadium.

Gradually, as the continental population of the city increased, so to once again did the prevalence of the Gorgie boy trade and the area and the football team enjoyed a limited success. Poor management meant that the excesses of yester-year struck the club and a dire financial state occurred.

Gorgie and HMFC saviour, or so it appeared, came by the way of a Lithuanian Banker of circumspect origin, who ploughed personal cash into the Heart of Midlothian to restore the glory days of HMFC. Undeterred by the motives of this Lithuanian the Gorgie Mini Huns welcomed him with open arms and without question, backing him to the hilt. The Lithuanian's popularity soared when many 'tickets' were handed out to local schools to encourage the interest of local youth and restore Gorgie to it's original glory days. However, this individual has learned that the bankers methods are not in the best interest of HMFC, but that subtle suggestion techniques have been employed to capture those in receipt of 'free match tickets' in a hypnotic state for transport to Lithuanian. Here, the so called saviour intends to use this socially suggestable group of lads to fuel the booming Eastern European Rent Boy market place, and once captured he intends to sell all HMFC assets and fund his much anticipated gender re-adjustment programme.

It is expected that the club will soon no longer be with us, however this individual believes that the ignorant sectarian bigoted association with the huns will strengthen through resolve and the Mini huns will succumb fully to the status of hun.