User:Phxntxsos/Bipedalism/Avela057 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User: Phxntxsos


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Phxntxsos/Bipedalism?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Bipedalism
 * Bipedalism

Evaluate the drafted changes
- When first evaluating the draft, I can see that they included their edits in Bold and Italicized which was very helpful to see what was added.

-Evolution of human bipedalism section: When including information try to avoid using I as it presents bias. Maybe instead of I try including the names of the people that introduced the idea of knuckle walking and grasping.

- Consequences section: This section is very well phrased. I think the writer did a good job including information in a way that flows with this section. I also think it is great that they added links to certain things like birth and birth canal to provide further background info.

- Walking & Respiration section: Great incorporation of information and placement. Great choice to include an image!

- Running and Musculature sections: Author did a create job incorporating additional information to these sections. Very well written and clear.

- Overall, The writer did a good job including information to an article that was already written. They only area that needs a bit of fixing would be the " Evolution of human bipedalism section," but other than that everything else has great information as well as great format.

- References: All references were credible and worked.