User:Pippy04/Etsy/Fossil Fuels Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Pippy04


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Pippy04/Etsy
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Etsy

Evaluate the drafted changes
Content: You could dig further into how Etsy's business practices affect climate change. What does it mean for sellers to "conduct business in a sustainable and responsible manner". You could explain what steps the company is planning on taking in order to reach their goals. It would be helpful to readers if you explained what it means to "reduce energy intensity". I like how you start off by stating that Etsy is based on 3 pillars, one being for the ecological. From looking at their 10k report, I think you could talk about their "Zero Waste" program and their actions to move to 100% renewable energy.

Tone and Balance: Your use of a neutral tone is done well.

Sources and References: You should cite the sources that you used directly after using material from that source. Also, the last two sources can't be opened by anyone except for your computer.

Main Article: From looking at the current Etsy article there doesn't seem to be any content related to climate so you would have to make an entirely new section for your content to be added in.

Overall: I think what you have written so far is good but I think that you can expand on some of the topics that you mention and dig deeper into them which would make a more developed article with more substantial content to have its own section in the main Etsy article.