User:Piscesinterlude/Social presence theory/EtherealPink Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Piscesinterlude


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Piscesinterlude/Social_presence_theory?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Social presence theory

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * Strong introductory sentence that clearly defines the topic
 * Concise paragraph that summarizes the article's major sections well
 * Each sentence is properly cited with a source

Content


 * Sections are relevant to the topic
 * All sections add to the understanding of the topic
 * The first sentence and the example provided in the "Significance," section should include a cited source
 * In the "Origins," section with the sentence beginning with, "The U.K.'s post office first funded Short et al.'s..." can be removed as it does not provide additional information on how it relates to the topic
 * Shortening the first three paragraphs in "Classification of media," can be easier to understand as it already elaborates in the sub-sections that follow
 * Re-formatting and adding more information to the "Measurement," section as CSCL is not explained
 * Great organization of the major sections as it shows how the topic has evolved over time

Tone and Balance


 * Content remains informational, does not appear bias

Sources and References


 * Wide variety of sources featuring many that are up-to-date
 * Links to sourses work
 * Some content is even backed up with additional sources

Overall Impressions


 * Strong sections that help elaborate on the topic
 * Provides great range of sources to support information provided
 * Content can be improved by making some sections more concise and easily digestible