User:PixtonRran/Frank Burly series

The Frank Burly series is a series of books written by John Swartzwelder. The series, consisting on ten installments and two short stories. The main character of the series is Frank Burly, a Homer Simpson-like dim-witted detective who often gets himself into absurd and comical situations.

The Exploding Detective
To help differentiate himself from the rest of the private detectives in Central City, Frank Burly decides he needs a gimmick to attract customers. He purchases a refurbished World War II jet pack that was part of a Nazi plot to conquer Heaven in the afterlife and outfits it with booster rockets that he bought from a women's fashion magazine. Calling himself "The Flying Detective," he begins recklessly streaking across the skies of Central City and crashing into buildings. In fact, the citizens of Central City see him crash, burn and explode so often that they begin to suspect the hapless detective possesses super powers that protect him from serious injury.

At the same time, a bizarre new crime wave hits the city. An army of robots led by Napoleon commit a series of robberies in the industrial district, stealing chemicals and other raw materials. Frustrated, the mayor and the chief of police approach Frank Burly about becoming the city's patron super hero. In exchange for $1,500 a week, Burly agrees to don a cape and tights and fly through the city in the name of justice and goodness. However, he soon finds he has bitten off more than he can chew when Napoleon turns out to be a robot and the real mastermind behind the crime wave unleashes his assassin robots against The Flying Detective.

Earth vs. Everybody
Frank Burly, enjoying a rip-off vacation in Mexifo to save money, notices a large group of criminals heading towards a luxurious resort. Upon returning to Central City, the setting of most of the books, Burly goes to one of the criminals he saw, who tells him its a job benefit for working at a criminal organization. Burly is invited to join the organization, and is immediately assigned as bank robber number one. After failing to rob the bark, Burly is demoted to bark robber number two.

The cycle continues, and eventually Burly is demoted all the way to the bodyguard of the big boss, an electrical storm in a suit, Mr. Theramin, who everyone just calls Buzzy. Eventually Buzzy turns out to be an alien, and when word gets out, aliens from around the world come to collect Buzzy for his many crimes. Buzzy escapes with Burly, who pretends to be a bum to earn money, and they go to the nearest spaceport where Buzzy abandons him. Burly, desperate to get back to Earth, learns that his planet has been destroyed by the alien forces, and decides to make a new life as an alien.

He learns that he is so massive and large that he can scare people into giving him treasure on one planet and move onto the next to he will never be found, and does this until a galactic police officer finds him and chases him in an epic spaceship chase until Burly accelerates to the speed of light, causing him to time travel into the future and end up on a planet with a race of extremely intelligent brains in jar who just sit around and think all day long, and have, year after year.

The Monster That Wouldn't Sink
One day Frank Burly trips over a "time skunk" and ends up upside down on the Titanic, where he quickly bets the captain $100,000 that the ship will sink. Burly tells the passengers that he is from the future, and after they ask him extensive questions about what the future is like, he reveals that he is looking for Jack the Ripper, who is really a time traveler, so a television production could interview him. Talking to the reader, Burly talks about how he found Jack the Ripper and told him about the "TV gig," though Jack was not impressed. Burly captured Jack but he escaped in 1912, which is how Burly ended up on the Titanic in the first place. When the Titanic begins to sink, Burly escapes, as does Jack. In the end, Burly decides to disguise himself as Jack and go on the show himself, hoping to get both their paychecks, but ruins it miserably.

Earth's Biggest Fan
In The Earth's Biggest Fan, Frank Burly visits an alien who is obsessed with everything Earth-related, who collects things like TVs and pants. But, when Frank Burly arrives he makes the alien decide that Earth is terrible based on the assumptions he makes of Burly.