User:Pocketsized24/Criminal psychology/Chcam1 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

pocketsized24


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Pocketsized24/Criminal_psychology?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Criminal psychology

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Hello Bryanna,

Overall, the contributions and edits you made so far to the Criminal Psychology article give you a good start. You have not included the Lead section, but you are not even at a point where it is necessary to include it. However, as I read your draft, I see that you have included two dynamic sections: Crime Prevention and Different Types of Mental Disorders within the System. You will need to briefly describe these two new sections if you decide to keep them.

The newly designed section of Crime Prevention is a section that describes the programs that are developed to help prevent young individuals from committing crimes by exposing them to the legal system via prisons and correctional facilities. This section is robust, and if you decide to keep this section, I would include more than one of the exact citations within this section and include hyperlinks to the show's [Scared Straight] Wikipedia and pictures of these educational programs in action. The language of this section is straightforward; I suggest rephrasing or redesigning some of the sentences. (completed)

The second section you added was to expand on Mental disorders within the Criminal System and how it is viewed and treated by officers. I believe this was a great addition to this article about Criminal Psychology. However, this section might have been somewhat ambitious. The area on conditions you have started to contribute in the body of the article highlighted focused initially on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). If you were to include that section, I would change this section title to use the inclusive language of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder as FAS is formally known as the aforestated FASD. I agree with the feedback that Liz included. This section might have been niche, but this opens a realm of possibilities for different disabilities you could highlight. Have you thought about other disorders, such as Autism Spectrum Disorder or other intellectual disabilities?

I also suggest that if you add these two sections, I would think of where I would want to place these topics. For example, I recommend that the section about mental disorders should come after the section on Key Studies.

The information that you added in the section about Comparison to Forensics was a minor addition that I enjoyed. I recommend changing this sentence to make it easier to read for the simple Wikipedian: Criminal psychologists focus on research, profiling, and educating and assisting law enforcement with the detainment of suspects. I recommend changing educating and assisting into educating/assisting. This small change will allow the sentence to flow better and not become a run-on sentence. (completed)

Overall, I did enjoy reading the contributions that you have added. I recommend reviewing the grammar altogether, as there are ways to improve with small yet refined language. I hope that your future contributions manage to stay on this article for years to come.