User:Pomagranny/The More The Better/Franci8740 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username). Pomagranny


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Pomagranny/The_More_The_Better?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
This lead is perfectly informative, concise, and summarizes what the article will cover.

The content is good, you just need more! Especially more details and references to back top certain claims. Like when you mention where this installation as been in terms of location, put dates for when it was up where.

The content is fairly neutral, I would just change the word 'renowned'.

The biggest thing is that you need embedded sources within the article. After sentences where you describe Paik's motives "Paik aimed to", or "The installation title is a reference".... these need references. You could also say "Paik himself has stated that....." and then reference the source.

I also think you need better titled subtitles/sections. "Legacy and Influence" doesn't make a lot of sense to me in terms of its contents. Also, you need to reference some examples of artists that were influenced by it if you claim that numerous artists were inspired (and cite sources for that too).

Also maybe add some links, i.e. a link that goes to Paik's wiki page when you mention him, or one that goes to the Whitney Museum's, etc.