User:PowdersPOWPOW/Tunnel vision/Eg2619 Peer Review

General info
PowdersPOWPOW on Tunnel Vision
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:PowdersPOWPOW/Tunnel vision
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):User:PowdersPOWPOW/Tunnel vision

Evaluate the drafted changes
This article adds good insight into permanent tunnel vision in glaucoma. People may not be fully aware of the specifics of tunnel vision and how it affects daily activities, making it a solid contribution to Wiki.

Lead

The lead concisely introduces tunnel vision, the causes, and mentions the difficulties in daily activities. It seems glaucoma comes in different stages, so I would suggest adding which stage(s) tunnel vision can occur.

Content

When describing glaucoma, I like how medical terms that people may not recognize (i.e aqueous humor) are briefly defined. This allows readers to grasp what is happening to the eye when one has glaucoma. I would suggest adding a sentence that distinguishes peripheral and central vision so that readers have a clear understanding between the two.

The daily activities are organized nicely and there is not excessive emphasis on one subsection versus another. I would perhaps define ipsilateral peripheral visual field in the face recognition subsection for clarity. For walking, it might be helpful to compare the risk of falls for those with tunnel vision due to glaucoma and those that are without tunnel vision but elderly, since fall risk occurs generally in people that are older.

Organization

The article is very well structured and organized into subsections which make it easy to follow.