User:Presleyjackson/9 (2005 film)/Mcwright1981 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Presleyjackson


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Presleyjackson/9 (2005 film)


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * 9 (2005 film)

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * 1) The lead is good. It does a good job differentiating the short film from the full feature-length film, which I was unaware existed. The first sentence of the Plot describes the story in a clear and informative way, “9 is a sentient rag doll who appears to be the last of his kind, living in the ruins of a decaying, post-apocalyptic Earth.” And the last sentence is also articulated well, “In the morning, 9 walks off into the wasteland, leaving the empty talisman behind in the sand.”

The themes and motifs section is on point. It is clear and precise.


 * 1) For the plot, I suggest cutting it down a lot. It is too detailed for a plot synopsis. Perhaps, dial it back to the high points of the high points instead of a detailed description of the action.
 * 2) The Plot section is the most crucial part of the article, and with some editing out of some unnecessary details like “They gather useful bits and pieces and store them in the cloth linings of their own skin,” will help the flow and overall feel of the article.
 * 3) My article could use a themes and motifs section that is done like yours.