User:PricklyFish/Altitudinal migration/Pixels3587 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

PricklyFish


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:PricklyFish/Altitudinal_migration?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Altitudinal migration

Evaluate the drafted changes
Interesting topic! Changes to the lead paragraph introduced the topic sufficiently in comparison to the previous lead. The introductory sentence could possibly be changed to make it stronger. A suggestion could be “Altitudinal migration refers to an animal's migration from lower altitudes to higher altitudes and back; it can be viewed as short distance animal migration” or Altitudinal migration refers to an animal's migration from lower altitudes to higher altitudes and back. It is a form of short distance animal migration.” These are just suggestions! I do support your suggestion in moving the second paragraph of the lead section (i.e., Typical characteristics…) underneath sub-heading “Tropics”. I think it would support the following information better.

As well, I seen you combined “Regions and Animal Examples” into the same section. I would suggest these two topics to be separate and “Animal Examples” could have their own heading in the article. A suggestion could be to change the name “Animal Examples” to “Species” as well as it more concise. Potential organization of sections could then be: (1) Lead; (2) Regions; (3) Species; (4) Causes; and (5) Conservation implications. Information within the articles are clearly structured and flow nicely.

Out of curiosity, is there any more information available for “Migrational Corridors” and “Seed Dispersal”, as most of the information regarding “Conservation Implications” is about “Climate Change”. Sometimes information is limited or unreliable, so I have taken that into consideration as well.

In the first paragraph underneath “Animal Examples and Regions”, there is a quote included here from C. Hsiung et al. I would suggest removing this and incorporating it into the paragraph in your own words with the citation.

Overall, the information added aided in the development of the topic, and it maintained a neutral tone throughout the article! There is no section presumptively favoured by one source and most references used are from recent publishes. Happy editing!