User:Priyanshuuprety/Welfare Queen/Gingersauce Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Priyanshu Uprety


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Editing User:Priyanshuuprety/Welfare Queen - Wikipedia


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * I don't have the link to the original article.

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The lead section is not included in this sandbox draft.

The section included in the sandbox does address an underrepresented, minority voice, which is great! There are a number of grammatical issues and wording choices that could be far clearer in the content, though. For example, the first sentence: "The 'welfare queen' stereotype is driven by the false and racist beliefs that places the blame of the circumstances of poor black single mothers as the result of their own individual issues, bringing forward racial tropes such as their promiscuity, lack of structure and morals, and avoidance of work." A clearer wording with better grammar choices could look like, "The 'welfare queen' stereotype is driven by false, racist beliefs which blame the circumstances of impoverished, single black mothers on their own personal choices, pointing to tropes regarding their supposed promiscuity, lack of structure or morals, and avoidance of work."

This section will also need clear citations for the information that is included. I can tell the editing process is in the beginning stages, but you will want to include at least one citation per sentence based upon the modules we've watched.

My last suggestion is to comb through the language to look for statements that appear to be biased. The overall tone makes it clear that the author views all supporting "evidences" that the "welfare queen" stereotype is true as false or racist. While you and I might agree with that, it will be important to publish wording that is as neutral as possible, to eliminate potential accusations against those who do not agree.