User:Psychcap/Military psychology/Mpatel48 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Psychcap


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Psychcap/Military_psychology?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Military psychology

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

I have noticed that majority of your lead section was revised by Liz. I would follow her guidance, but to further expand and develop a body you can include these talking points.

- gender differences and what the specifics are

- talking about the different fields and how it relates to different time periods in the military

- talk about any on going events

I feel like you need to bring more over from the original article to be able to add more contribution. You have a good starting point, and have explained the concept well. I would just try to add your connection or an idea to expand on the topics. The lead needs to include more attention grabbing structure. Instead of just defining terms, include how the terms can impact one another. Your article mentions equity gap topics, so you could bring that into your draft. The content is relevant and is up to date.Your tone and diction is neutral and concise. I was also confused about your citations, if you are pulling information from multiple sources then you can cite it using the button at the top of the sandbox. Multiple citations can be given to a sentence or a specific word. If it is applying to the overall paragraph then include the citation at the end of the paragraph. Also, using purdue or an online citation creator can help you with your formatting. I am intrigued to see the changes you plan on making. Overall, you have a good starting point but you can expand more and I would try to reorganize the information.