User:Psychstudent20/Growling/Tdl120300 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Psychstudent20


 * Link to draft you're reviewing https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Psychstudent20/Growling?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Growling

Evaluate the drafted changes
Functions of Aggressive Growling

You state that there is an evolutionary aspect tp growling, however that is not explained any more in this section. Without it being backed up by anything it does not strengthen the article to have this statement here. There is many grammar and punctuation errors that make it hard to follow along. The same reference is used through out the article. Trying to find multiple references to cite through out a section will help improve the article.

Avoid words like "seems" this is vague and can be interpreted different ways depending on who is reading the article. Trying to add only definitives like "There is an environmental aspect to feline aggression."

The changes you ave made to this section does not fully explain aggressive growling, as an example in the last paragraph of this section you said "with household cats that were in environments that were agonist with their owners, were more likely to have aggressive behaviour like growling towards their owners." but you do not explain what this behaviour is, to improve this you could mention what else felines do while growling (as an example do they arch their back? do the claw and scratch?) as well as why. You did say how felines that were agonist with their owners demonstrate aggression, but saying what you mean by "agonist" because agonist means "a substance which initiates a physiological response when combined with a receptor" (definition found from online oxford dictionary) so this word does not make sense in the context you used it in. Describing what kind of behaviours will give an aggressive response would be more effective.

This section of the article was already developed fairly well therefore it is difficult to contribute to it. Going through and finding more articles to help support what the previous authors have already written would be more beneficial for this section.

Growling in canines

This section is already in the article, which is fine, however the information that you added seems to be a short summary of what is already presented in the article and does not particularly strengthen the article. Since the article is about growling, the part about household dogs (which I would also refer to as domesticated dogs rather than household dogs) weight fluctuating based on the owners does not need to be mentioned as this information is irrelevant to the article. There are a few grammar and punctuation mistakes in your rewritten parts that makes it difficult to read. This section is already developed greatly, therefore it may be difficult to add anything to it. What you have written is not improving the article as it does not have some of the key points already presented in the article. If you did was to improve this section you can find more scientific articles to cite that support what is presented. By doing this you may find more important information that can improve the article. Another way to improve this section is that the headline is Growling in Canines and the section primarily talks about dogs. There are many more types of canines such as foxes, wolves, and jackals that can be discusses here, you could add a sub section about other canines and the growling characteristics in them and how they differ.

Overall Feedback

The two sections you have chosen to edit are already developed, making it difficult for you to contribute. The edits you have suggested do not seem to strengthen the article as it seems that a lot of the important information is being removed, weakening the article.

There are many grammar, punctuation, and spelling mistakes that make your suggested edits hard to read, they are not coherent in some areas.

A lot of the references you reused multiple times in one paragraph (in the first paragraph of functions of aggressive growling you used only 1 reference 3 times). It is important to find multiple references even if you have found one article that seems to have the information you are looking for. The more citations the better.

To improve your contribution I would recommend either looking for more scientific articles that support the information already being presented or since this article is relatively short you have to potential to do more external research on growling and add your own sections.