User:Publius2500/Hiroshima Peace Memorial/L7mRyu Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Publius2500


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Publius2500/Hiroshima_Peace_Memorial?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Hiroshima Peace Memorial

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

There are beginnings for making a good contribution to the history section here, and the sentence for the UNESCO World Heritage sub-section looks good. There is no perceptible bias and it stays fact-based without an argument.

The main improvements to be made are in organization/sentence structure- many of the thoughts here seem unfinished, the grammar is confusing, and its unclear exactly what they are referring to. There is also a notable lack of sources and especially of citations. There is one source linked in the references section, but no footnotes have been inserted and it's unclear where any of this information is coming from.

I think that with the completion of what's here, and the proper inclusion of sources, this will make a good contribution to establishing the history of this memorial.