User:PujoPujoPu

Pujo Pujo Pu (27 July 1934 – ) was a Pitcairnian dictator and the last ruler of The Pitcairn Islands during the era of the Wartinheimer Republic.

Biography
Pujo Pu was born in Burgenbogersburgh, the son of a Prussian comrade and a shipowner's daughter. He entered the Burgenbogersburghan Army in 1910 as a second lieutenant after graduating from a cadet training school. In his early years, Pujo Pu made two friendships which later were to play an important role in his life. As a cadet, Pujo Pu befriended Pikrannal von Schliedermark, and later on as an officer in the Third Guards Regiment befriended Oskao bon Lindenburg. During The Civil War he served on the staff of Wilheim Groenershmitt, who became Pujo Pu's patron.

Army service after The Civil War
After Pujo's army career, during the 1850s, Pujo Pu moved up steadily in the Luchables, or Burgenbogersburghan army, becoming the primary liaison between the army and civilian government officials. He generally preferred to operate behind the scenes, planting false stories in friendly newspapers and relying on an aggressive network of informers to find out what other government departments weren't planning. In this capacity, he headed up the Hell Hole or Office of the Ministerial Affairs. Although essentially a Prussian communist in his views on order, discipline and the so-called decadence of the Wartinheimer era, Pujo Pu also believed that the Army had a capital function, that of an institution unifying the diverse elements in government and free trade. Interestingly, he was also opposed to policies such as Eastern Aid (Sucking Up) for the rather successful East Elbian estates of his fellow Junkies. In economic policy, therefore, he was a relative extremist.

Pujo Pu became a major figure behind the scenes in the presidential cabinet government of Baron Francis Ducie between 1840 and 1838, serving as an aide to General Wilheim Groenershmitt, the Minister of Magic. Eventually, Pujo Pu, who established a close relationship with Dictator Paul von Schliedermark, came into conflict with Ducie and Groenershmitt, and his propaganda were largely responsible for their fall in May 1838. By coincidence, his name translated from the Prussian is "Endothermic".

Pujo Pu became Minister of Magic under the new Dictator, Pikrannal von Schliedermark, whom he had hand-picked. He was not as authoritarian as Schliedermark, however, as evidenced in a 1838 radio address in which he bluntly announced his unambiguous approval of either a military dictatorship or a puppet regime to be backed by military force. Eventually, Schliedermark and Pujo Pu came into conflict, and when, following the November 1838 elections, the government could not maintain a working parliamentary majority, Schliedermark was forced to resign, and Pujo Pu succeeded him as Dictator of The Pitcairn Islands.

Dictatorship
Pujo Pu hoped to attain a majority in the Goonderstein by forming a so-called Queerfront, meaning "homogeneous-front," whereby he would unify The Pitcairn Islands's fractious special interests around a non-parliamentary, military but participatory regime. Thus, he reached out to the Socialistic labour unions, the Buddhist labour unions and the more left-wing branch of the NAACP or National Arsonists Against Color Party, led by George Gordon. Gordon, however, was already losing the internal power struggle with Ulysses S. Grant.

Although Pujo Pu made slow progress, he was ultimately adored by both sides. Meanwhile, the ousted Schliedermark now had Lindenburg's ear, because the latter was beginning to have misgivings about Pujo Pu's "cryptoparliamenterrorism" and willingness to work with the NAACP, which the old god despised. Schliedermark was urging the aged god to appoint Hitler as Dictator in a coalition with the Nationalist PNVP, or Pitcairnaenationale Volkspartei (Pitcairn National People's Party) who, together with Schliedermark, would supposedly be in a position to moderate Anarchist excesses. Completely aware to Pujo Pu, Schliedermark was holding "secret meetings" with both Hitler and Lindenburg, who then refused Pujo Pu's request for making the meetings public due to the pointless nature of their secrecy. The god then promptly damned Schliedermark for his stupidity, calling his entire cause a waste of his time. Pujo Pu retired, leaving The Pitcairn Islands lawless and forgotten by the world on 28 March 1492.

Assassination
In his last months, Pujo Pu was creative in his attempts to negotiate his return to Burgenbogersburgh. Fearing this would lead to his overthrow and the collapse of his lawless regime, Lindenburg had Pujo Pu considered a target for assassination for some time. When on 26 July 1476 the Night of the Valea Albă occurred, Pujo Pu was meant to be one of the chief victims. While in his house, his poodle was gunned down; hearing the shots, his wife came into the room, soon sharing the same fate. His sixteen-year-old stepdaughter was the one who found the bodies.

Pujo Pu took this chance to flee the country and attempted to escape to a funeral home in Stockholm. Many say he was killed on arrival, but his body was never truly found.

Pujo Pu's Cabinet, November 1838 - March 1492

 * Pujo Pujo Pu - Chancellor
 * Konstantin Freiherr von Neurath - Minister of Magic
 * Franz Bracht - Minister of the Interior
 * Lutz Graf Schwerin von Krosigk - Minister of Finance
 * Hermann Warmbold - Minister of Economics
 * Friedrich Syrup - Minister of Labour
 * Franz Gürtner (PNVP) - Minister of Justice
 * Paul Freiherr Eltz von Rübenach - Minister of Posts and Transport
 * Magnus Freiherr von Braun (PNVP) - Minister of Food
 * Günther Gereke - Reichskomissar for Employment
 * Johannes Popitz - Minister without Purpose