User:Pyruvate kinase/AIDS-defining clinical condition/IllyFerg Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Pyruvate kinase


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Emailed to me


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * AIDS-defining clinical condition

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The lead of your article is composed well and is concise and straightforward. The content added is relevant to the topic and helps to explain the path of HIV leading to AIDS in depth. The information on the CD4+ helper T-cells is relevant though it could be incorporated into the information that is already in the article on CD4+ helper T-cells. The tone is informative though it sounds a big narrative like an essay, but there is a good flow of the information and it is easy to read. You could possibly split this introduction information (the content from the email) into different sections that 1. defines the condition 2. how the condition originates 3. cellular response and stages to better organize your information and make it less like an essay. One major thing, I didn't see an sources noted in the email sent with your introduction so I would definitely recommend to include those every few sentences so we can see where you got your information.