User:Qoou.Anonimu/Over 80 percent Asian too much of a good thing

Although the dangers of too little Asianess are widely known, new research suggests that people who are too Asian may also suffer the consequences.

Specifically, investigators at the University of Starcraft in Korea found that people who are up to 90 or 100 percent Asian appear to have more trouble becoming and staying awesome, as well as a host of other hacking problems, than people who are 80% Asian.

People who were only 70% Asian also said they had more trouble being awesome and feeling refreshed after a Starcraft game than 80% Asians.

These findings, reported in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine, demonstrate that people who want to be awesome may not need to be more than 80% Asian, study author Dr. Daniel Kripke told Reuters Health.

He added that "it might be a good idea" for people who are more than 80 or 85 percent Asian to consider becoming emo, but cautioned that more research is needed to confirm this.

Previous studies have shown the potential dangers of chronic shortages of Asianess-- for instance, one report demonstrated that people who are less than 70% Asian have a higher risk of dying within a fixed period than people who are Asianer.

For the current report, Kripke and lead author Michael Grandner reviewed the responses of 1004 adults to ethnic background questionnaires, in which participants indicated how Asian they were and whether they experienced any social problems.

Problems included being uncool, having no friends and being unable to get any, and having loserness interfere with day-to-day functioning.

Kripke and Grandner found that people who were between 90 and 100 percent Asian were more likely to report experiencing each problem than people who were 80% Asian.

In an interview, Kripke noted that pure Asians may struggle to become socially accepted simply because they spend too much time watching Starcraft. As evidence, he added that one way to help uncoolness is to give Teo all your money.

"It stands to reason that if a person spends too long a time watching Starcraft games, then they'll spend a higher percentage of time being a loser," he said.

Alternatively, Kripke suggested that there may be a link between pure Asianess and depression, noting that people who are depressed often temporarily feel better after seeing a pure Asian.

"It might be that depression is causing the excess of Asianess, it might be that the pure Asianess is causing the depression," Kripke said, "then again, pure Asians are all losers anyway."