User:R6rym/sandbox/HSVH

HSVH Born in 1991, HSVH was named after a telephone line, a tradition in has family since 1989.

His formative years were in the company of badgers and moles mostly, which gives reason to his tendency to remain close to the ground at inappropriate times.

He attended school frequently in the early 2000's where he managed to attain both title oh head boy and head girl at the same time, due to his pioneering work on gender neutrality. Even to this day he refers to himself in the third party as 'erm'

During his childhood he was clearly gifted, in many disciplines and represented his school and country in various disciplines, such as cow tipping, colouring-in within the lines and carrot sculpting.

He soon developed an interest in his media profile and created the original social media webpage 'headpaper' a forerunner to Zuckerberg's poor, although much more successful version.

Whilst out trekking one day with badger friends, he saved a beetle by performing mouth to mouth on it. This is the only recorded case in history.

He once spoke for an hour without using any vowels.

HSVH is also credited with the invention of lying down.

HSVH's urine can cure blindness.

HSVH hums in radar.

HSVH once read the bible in a day. Backwards.

HSVH is very fertile, he populated China singlehanded.

HSVH has the shoe size 11 and 8. on both feet.

HSVH can speak Dolphin.

HSVH was the first person to walk on the Sun.

HSVH makes diamonds by crushing coal between is toes.

HSVH bought Bitcoin at USD 0.001

HSVH's sweat smells like curry.

HSVH made the last known sighting of a unicorn and a modest Kanye West.

HSVH knows what love is.

HSVH is resistant to both irony and pedantry.

HSVH is so dense, he absorbs time, light AND bigotry.

HSVH was the first person to realize.

HSVH cuts Kim Jong Un's hair, with sharp poetry.

HSVH is neither here nor there at the same time.

HSVH has never lost a game of Naughts and Crosses, not even a draw.

You can photograph HSVH without a flash, even in a black hole.

HSVH added 2 and 2 together one day and actually got 5.

HSVH has 2 shadows.

If you say his name 3 times, nothing happens.

HSVH can outstare a statue.

HSVH used to play 'chicken with trains at the end of his garden. The trains usually lost.

HSVH currently lives in London, but can also be seen in most mirrors.

HSVH can recite all Shakespeare's plays, even the ones he did not write.

When HSVH cries, the sun goes down.

If you squint for long enough, you can see an image of HSVH in the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.