User:RChristakes/Carl Fern

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0C1p9hAmZsY

Carl Fern History, Background, Origins ...

Carl Fern is an American Poinsettia Grower. His accomplishments are varied and many. Most notably, he has managed to mass produce blue poinsettias.

Early Days:

Carl Fern's early days were spent growing up in Frankfort, Illinois. He would often mimic famous sports announcers' voices and do play by play of sporting events while watching them on tv with the volume on mute. He is not Justin's brother.

Carl Meets Rich:

Carl went to grade school with Rich. They were like the meeting of Jobs and Wozniak. Constantly ad libbing jokes and characters and situations, things culminated into a giant blowup following a birthday party where a certain Rodney Dangerfield movie riled Fern up to the point where an incident involving a balloon and pre-adolescent rambunctiousness occurred at the Pizza Hut across the street setting off a chain reaction of hard feelings and apology notes from Fern to Rich's parents. They were banned from hanging out for a while.

Re-united:

Rich and Fern started hanging out again in high school and then into college. They were college roommates at Southern Illinois and while home on Christmas Break, Fern drove the "White Shark" around town while he and Rich beat up every snowman they could find. Back in the apartment at SIU, Rich and Fern would play video games with the sound off and Fern would do play by play. Notably, Fern would say "Top shelf!! Where mama hides the cookies!!" while playing NHL '94. Rich later rope a doped Fern into losing 10 straight games. An argument on John Madden Football '96 on Sega Genesis erupted into a face slapping, beer drinking episode in which a poster of Cosmo Kramer was the only thing left in the room when all was said and done.

Later years:

After SIU, Fern went to work on training to be a sports caster. He called Mike North daily and harrassed him, ultimately leading to Mike North being fired and back to selling hot dogs. Fern, now a successful poinsettia grower and Boston resident, regularly calls in "The Score" and does his best "Tony from the Southside" routine.

Now: Fern is now a world renowned poinsettia grower and salesman. His connections have allowed him to make acquaintance with some of the most powerful people in the world. He works so hard that he has no time for a family life. Growing poinsettias and Mother of Thousands is a round the clock job. He has teamed up with Rich to increase his distribution network and also regularly calls into Green Green Gardens on Thursday mornings.

Special Skills:

Cooking Winston's bagels. Watching Melrose Place. Pretending to be Tony from the Southside. Shooting pool. Selling poinsettias. Growing Mother of Thousands.