User:REL9040/Aspergillus niger/Jap23630 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:

-the lead doesn't have too much content yet, but so far it seems to be mentioning facts that are loosely related such as the pneumonia point. I would focus more on what the fungus does, why its important, how its being used or limited.

Content:

For the industrial uses paragraph, I would start with what industries its used in or something more of a hook or lead in, rather than jumping right into very specific information

For the citric acid use point, I might switch around the sentence to the importance of citric acid production right after introducing it as one of the byproducts of A. Niger. Also when mentioning how there are other species that also produce citric acid, I might include info on how different A. Niger compares to the production of citric acid by other species.

Tone/Balance:

-the tone seems to be neutral and quite balanced, it seems mostly to be presenting facts not up for controversy. Continuing this neutrality and fact based approach is good for the rest of the article

Sources/References:

-Good references at the end of each sentence

Organization:

-So far not much to comment on since there are only two sections, but the flow can certainly be built upon within each body paragraph as more information is added

Images/Media:

So far no images or media in the draft