User:RLSbiology/Multiple sclerosis/Marltaly9990 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

RLSbiology


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:RLSbiology/Multiple_sclerosis?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Multiple sclerosis

Evaluate the drafted changes
What section of the article is being edited? The lead is good and offers a broad overview of what is further discussed. The content is relevant and up to date to the topic. I do like how the content is broken into sections regarding the susceptibility of those with preexisting autoimmune disorders, living in different regions, race/ethnicity, age, and gender. I would include more information regarding age and gender. The race/ethnicity portion contains broad information regarding underrepresented populations. Could you find information that focused on underrepresented populations more? Overall the content is organized, concise, and well written. There are a few minor grammatical errors throughout the draft. You could add a determiner before the noun in the beginning of the sentence "Onset of MS has been linked to various exposures." In the sentence, "The age onset, severity, and symptoms varies widely in cases of MS", I would change the verb form to vary. I think in the beginning of the draft you should spell out MS with abbreviation in parenthesis, Multiple sclerosis (MS) and then abbreviate from there. The content is neutral and is not heavily biased toward a particular position. The most recent year I see is 2019, I would include a year where it reads "In the most recent prevalence studies conducted" If you are able to. The sources are good, thorough, and current. I think you did a great job, keep up the good work!