User:RPIRED/One stop shop/Wilktyl Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

RPIRED


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:RPIRED/One stop shop
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * One stop shop

Evaluate the drafted changes
I felt that your contribution was really well put together and was a necessary addition to the original wikipedia page. I enjoyed how you gave a brief background on the topic and you were able to tie in "one stop shops" from around the globe. I was able to comprehend the ease of having one stop shops and how they are beneficial without you having any bias one side or another.

Lead -

The lead was clear and concise, allowing me to understand exactly what you were going to talk about. You drew in the original information from the wikipedia page after mentioning what your new additions were discussing. Well done.

Content -

The content you added was relevant to the original topic. It gives a different perspective of one stop shops beyond a department store. The content added was important to the entire contribution and I did not feel that there were unnecessary sections. With the dates discussed, many of them were prior to the early 2000s without much mention of one stop shops today. This could help expand across the timeline if it was added but that's also nitpicking.

Tone -

I read your contribution twice and did not find any bias or a certain tone of voice leaning towards one sided. It was a very neutral addition simply discussing one stop shops without saying you are for or against them. The concept itself is very useful and beneficial for everyone but I would not count that towards bias. You were able to include how it was uniformly positive and I believe this way a good way of discussing cons to the approach.

Sources -

No issues.

Organization -

Your contribution was extremely easy to read. It flowed nicely and I did not notice any grammatical errors. If I had to nitpick anything, it would be that the entire thing was one large section. You may benefit from subheadings discussing a background, benefits, or different nations using one stop shops. However, I believe it was laid out well and in an order that was logical.

Images -

I thought the images were a nice touch and just gave me an idea of what the facilities look like. I enjoyed them.

Overall Impression -

Honestly Tom, you killed this. It looks great and I believe it was a very useful contribution. It seems like you put a lot of effort into your research and it came out well. The two suggestion I had were strictly nitpicking for the assignment but I believe you did a great job. I liked how you were able to incorporate the one stop shops from different countries across the world that use it and give a background on where it originated. The only thing I believe that could possibly strengthen your contribution would be to have subsections under public administration rather than just one large section,. However, like I stated previously, the layout as is makes sense and proceeds logically. Great job.