User:RaccoonEnjoyer/Wooden tomb model/Laumoos Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

RaccooonEnjoyer


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:RaccoonEnjoyer/Wooden_tomb_model?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Wooden tomb model

Evaluate the drafted changes
The lengthening of both the lead and the Predynastic, Early Dynastic, and Old Kingdom section are very welcome, as both were severely underdeveloped. Would the description of the boats in the lead become repetitive when put against the model boats section in the article? I also agree with your plan to describe the Middle Kingdom models in less than five sections but it'll prove to be difficult as the extreme variety of these models makes it difficult to categorize anyways. Additionally the old kingdom does need some pictures after being overshadowed by the middle kingdom's five. If it were me, I wouldn't mention anything outside of the subject matter in your Old Kingdom section, the mention of the middle kingdom is a little distracting, I'd reframe it and move it to the middle kingdom section when you get to it.