User:Rachelismo/Abolitionist Teaching/Jslfriedman Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Rachelismo


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Abolitionist teaching


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
"Abolitionist teaching refers to practices and approaches to teaching that focus on restoring humanity for children in schools."

- A very concise first sentence that gets straight to the point.

- The language of "restoring humanity" alone makes me wonder why exactly students need humanity restored and which students exactly need humanity restored. Although you mention Black critical theory, it may be necessary to include a little more historical background in the introduction. You explain these later on, but it could a be good idea to incorporate them in the introduction.

- I'm also curious about which exact principles from the Abolitionism article also pertain to this article. Obviously you tie it in later, but it might be a relationship to highlight early in the introduction to help get people up to speed.

- Otherwise, it's a very apt introduction, with a nice quote from the Abolitionist Teaching Network. I am also a bit curious about some brief details of the Abolitionist Teaching Network as an organization. Is it an organization of teachers/educators, or an independent non-profit, etc.?

"Abolitionist teaching offers a path for teachers that is not reform but rather predicted on freedom..."

- This paragraph is a great overview on the topic from a variety of different angles.

- Very small edit: maybe emphasize moving beyond reform. You might also be meaning to use the word "predicated." I'm not entirely sure.

"It is heavily influenced by intersectionality, which is a framework that focuses on how the intersection of a person's multiple identities influences the privilege or discrimination they experience."

- I love everything about these paragraphs here. From an organization stand point, you might want to put the Black feminist theory and intersectionality closer together because they are so connected.

"Though the trans-Atlantic slave trade is no more, there are many global movements aimed at abolishing unjust systems that are part of the tradition of abolition."

- Great line!

"In 2001 article "Race, Gender, and the Prison Industrial Complex: California and Beyond," Davis and co-author Shaylor launch a strong critique of the US prison-industrial complex that includes data on the human rights abuses of women, people of color and the poor in prisons."

- You're probably aware of this, but Davis' Are Prisons Obsolete? is another foundational text to the cause that you could cite or reference.

"One might posit that the Foucauldian evolution from discipline to punishment also extends to schools."

- I think this line could use a bit of a tune-up, although I do agree with the idea. I think more background or explanation should be given to "Foucauldian evolution" if it isn't at least hyperlinked to Foucault's wiki page. I think this line also seems slightly biased, although you make an effort to counteract that, since it doesn't cite anybody and pushes an opinion. A fix could be to find someone that makes this assertion and then to cite them.

"In this book, as in Teaching to Transgress, hooks advises teachers to make the classroom life-sustaining, joyful and expansive."

- I'm a big fan of the inclusion of hooks here. I'm definitely curious about what it would look like for a teacher to heed the advice of hooks in the classroom. Maybe that isn't neceassrily in the scope of what you are talking about, but I'm not entirely sure what "life-sustaining" and "expansive" really are or look like in the classroom.

Overall, this is an awesome article that touches on the most prominent scholars in abolitionism. Since you are focused on the teaching of abolitionism, you might want to include a little more about abolitionist teaching practices while you discuss the scholars. Other than that, there isn't much else I'd recommend!