User:Rachelneeld/Senusret III/Gadzooksopposite Peer Review

General info
rachelneeld
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Rachelneeld/Senusret III
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Senusret III

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead (1)

I think this lead section gives a good general overview of the topic, and I think it was a good idea to make it less biased. It reads now more as a overview without the part you removed, but it still conveys that he was a significant and powerful ruler. I wonder if the part about the Legend of Senostris also needs a citation, but maybe linking to the article is sufficient? Overall it summarizes the pieces of the article without going into too much detail.

Clarity (2)

The organization generally makes sense. I think worship does work as it's own section, but maybe it could be placed after length of reign, since it ties more closely into the complex and royal statuary? I also wonder if the title of the section on length of reign could be changed to something that shows more clearly what the section is about? Maybe 'Possible Co-regency'? Not sure though. You did a nice job re-organizing the pyramid sections and adding some needed citations.

Coverage (3)

I didn't see things that were clearly missing. I noticed with the length of reign section it talks a lot about one scholar's view and briefly mentions that others disagree, it feels like this could be more balanced, but I know you didn't focus on that section.

Content Neutrality (4)

Like I mentioned earlier, you did a good job making the lead less biased. I was wondering if there are other perspectives you could include in the worship section, that agree or disagree, to provide more of a background/ other perspectives?

Sources (5)

The sources you added seem like good, scholarly sources. I noticed a good amount of separate sources backing up statements in the article. In the Worship section, I think it might benefit from another source if there is one you can find.

Overall I think you made some meaningful contributions. It looks good :)